Do What You Have to Do
by DeityOfDeath
Summary: Inu Yasha makes a difficult decision in leaving Kagome. His crippling depression and heat make him vulnerable to Sesshomaru's advances, Can he find love in his brothers uncaring arms, will he find it in the the consequences from that coupling? MPREG
1. Chapter 1: What ravages of spirit

**Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song " Do What You Have to Do " by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 1: What ravages of spirit**

Heart ache.

Death is more welcome but I am not one who can die so easily nor do I have the right to.

I had found my happy ending with Naraku's defeat and the joining of the shards and I would have found myself in her world living peacefully but after two years of trying she has yet to conceive. She went to her times healer and he has said that she is healthy and there is no reason for us to not conceive and has asked me to come in so that he could say what I already knew. There was no need; the answer was there. I was the reason we could not have pups. With the answer unsaid between us I did what I thought was right.

I took the shikon no tama from her dresser and wrote a small letter before I made my way to the well, the passage way between my time and hers and I jumped through one last time. It was as anti-climatic as any other day but it felt as if my world were crumbling.

I waited for my breath to stop coming as I cried my sorrows by the well. I don't know how long I stayed there; only that it was Kirara and Shippo that found me. I was led back to Kaede's hut and there I spent endless hours, days, weeks and even months in sorrow.

It is an emotional cut that cuts the deepest.

That was what Kaede-baba had told Shippo when he asked when I would return to myself.

It was on an overly bright day when I finally decided to leave the quiet and calm of Kaede's hut for the first time in months. There was a cool spring breeze but it could not cool my over heated body nor quench the urge to move. I felt locked in my skin, as if it had grown tight around me like an old wool sweater. I felt tired or drained and at the same time I felt antsy and almost excited or impatient.

I had made my way through the village and into the woods where I found my tree, my resting place from long ago; and I jumped into all too familiar branches. I lay down on those large branches and allowed my sorrow to lull me into a false sense of sleep as a cool breeze cooled my overheated body and the deep ache that burned in an unknown part deep inside me. It was in those calming branches with the snatches of gradient oranges, pinks and yellows of the setting sun shinning through gaps in darkened undersides of the multiple leaves adorning my rough sanctuary, that I caught the all too familiar aura of my older brother.

I just lay there as it came closer and watched golden waves weave in and out of the leaves. When his scent drifted on the breeze the sound of his footsteps followed not too soon after. I felt his presence below me and felt his aura full force, his youkai screaming dominance.

"I had heard rumors but this Sesshomaru did not believe them. I would ask what caused you to desert your human priestess but your scent covers your territory like a fire lit in fields."

My scent…oh, my scent! That would explain the chaos filled emotions and feelings as well as the heat that radiated off my body.

"Your heat is upon you, marking you as an unmated bitch available for fucking."

I looked down at him and saw an emotionless face which seemed odd considering the venom dipped words he had just delivered.

"Does your heat keep you from speaking or has that human taken your tongue along with your heart, little brother?"

I continued staring at those swirling colors among the leaves as they darkened into crimson red among pink and further into light lavenders and deep blue violets of night.

I felt his power ripple across my skin and with it his heady and musky scent. He was aroused. My own brother was aroused by my scent. I felt a rush of air and then I saw my brother standing before me on my branch of solitude. His scent hit me and not to sooner after so did his fist against my right cheek. I hit the back of my head against the tree trunk as I slid from my tree trunk sanctuary and fell to the ground.

I lay there staring up at my brother and then once again into the twilight littered leaves. I felt his presence beside me and then all at once he was on me. Hands yanking and pulling at my clothing, tears and rips almost drowned out by the wind in the trees around us.

It didn't take long for my heated skin to be bared in the cooling breeze. I felt his hands grab my waist and hips, scratching my skin carelessly as he flipped me over onto my knees in the soft green grass. At least I was somewhat cushioned. I felt those piercing claws puncture the soft flesh of my bottom as I was spread open for all to see. I felt one clawed finger trace my entrance and then a satisfied purr if one could call it that, it seemed too masculine to be a purr; left his mouth.

"You are like all other bitches, wet and waiting."

That was all that was said before he plunged into my virgin entrance.

Pain, sharp, white, blinding pain, engulfed me like a flame engulfs the dry fields. My breath caught painfully in my chest as tears gathered and quickly fell from my eyes. No sooner had I caught my breath that he started moving in slow in and out movements. Pain; sharp and burning in my entrance and then short and prickling along my spine. He continued moving and even with the pain I felt warmth, no not warmth a deep inferno deep inside me building, growing seeking an escape route grew and grew. It hurt in another way, one that I couldn't understand.

In, out. In, out and then blinding pleasure, ticklish in nature but causing that fire inside to burn more intense and immense than before.

I felt his claws dig deep into my skin, plowing long searing lines along my sides and hips as he grew bigger deep inside me tensing and jerking hectically causing that pleasurable inferno to burst as my own neglected member emptied my useless essence into the grass below me while my brothers filled my once virgin channel, continuing to do so even as he collapsed against my back, his weight pushing me down onto my elbows.

He pushed in further causing immense pain as his knot slid past my tightened opening. We were tied together and would be until his seed had filled me past brimming. I had done many times with Kagome, the memories of her pleasure filled keening causing my orgasmic tears to be washed away by those of deep sadness.

I lay underneath him feelings a jumble, emotions raw and unable to move or think. I felt his girth lessen and then he slid from body with a slick slopping sound, his seed running in rivulets out of my abused opening and in-between my legs and thighs.

I felt the now chilly against my now bared skin as he left me lying there in my own useless seed and his deep inside of me.

"That should satiate your heated hunger for now younger brother," and with that he tossed my fire rat robe atop me and turned and left.

To Be Continued….

Okay, I'd like to dedicate this story to Mallory AKA Mouse. We'll miss you chicky. Wish you were still here with us. I know this boy loving would make your day.

Kat ;_;


	2. Chapter 2: Conjured this temptuous rage

**Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 2: Conjured this temptuous rage**

A month goes by much quicker when you have depression, loathing and a small amount of hate filling your every waking moment. One month turns into two in what feels like one. Not that I had many moments awake. I have found myself drained as of late. The smallest task leaves me exhausted and not too soon after sleeping in whatever spot I sat my weary body. This evidentially amused and worried my companions to no end. I suppose it was odd to find me sleeping in front of the fireplace or in a different corner every night and yes, once or twice on the roof and a few times invading Shippo's futon, often snuggling against the kit and once found hugging him close.

It hadn't really bothered me until I found myself running from the Kaede's hut in the morning to vomit and dry heave whatever was left in my body undigested in the early morning. I had managed to do this in privacy until this morning when I found my hair pulled away from my face by Kaede herself.

I wiped my mouth and moved away from the sour smell, Kaede releasing my hair as I did so.

"Have you, figured out what ails you Inu Yasha?"

I looked down at my bare feet and fidgeted a bit.

"From your, reaction I'm guessing you, suspect the culprit," she asked more than said.

I stood there unsure of what to say, whether I should voice my suspicions or let her tell me what she thought or knew what it was.

"Come Inu Yasha, I'll make you some tea to settle your stomach and then we shall give you a check up."

I felt her move past me and into the hut and I followed softly behind her lost in my whirlwind thoughts. I sat down in front of the fire in the middle of the room and watched flames lick the sides of a small kettle that Kagome had left for Kaede before we had left for her time. I smelled an array of herbs and spices as she came to sit before the fire with tea cup in hand.

She pulled the kettle from the flames with a doubled rag and poured the steaming water into the fragrant tea cup causing wisps of steam to rise and with them the smells of mint, chamomile and a few other scents I couldn't discern in the mix. She mixed it with a small spoon that Kagome had also left her and then held the cup out to me. I took it with one hand and brought it to me, wrapping both hands firmly around it before taking a deep sip. It was sweet and bitter at the same time but as I swallowed I felt it sooth my sore throat and sighed softly.

"Have you mated recently Inu Yasha?"

I wasn't surprised by the question but I still self-consciously looked around, glad to find Shippo loudly snoring in the corner.

"I take your nervousness as a yes."

"Yes, okay, yes."

"I haven't seen any signs of heat upon you so I believe that your mating was a success and that a pup has been conceived."

I looked at my stomach which had already begun to soften and round.

"Yes."

"There are few you would let touch you and there aren't too many left who could best you in combat and only one other is as strong as you who wanders this territory."

"He is the father and I'd rather he not know."

"Is it pride or another worry that keeps you from telling him?"

"He sees me as less of a demon and almost less than a human on his chart. I don't trust him enough to tell him of a conception between the two of us. Bitches do not find the mutts who have pupped them; they merely birth and raise the pups on their own. I don't need him for that."

"That is the animal not the demon clan Inu Yasha, both of us know that the two of you are the last of your clan in this territory and that he would want to know of an heir to his lands."

"I will not tell him, he treated me like a lesser being and I will not have any pup of ours growing up like that!"

I found myself gasping for air after yelling louder than I had meant to.

"Uhhnn….what's going on", asked Shippo as he sat up rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"It is nothing Shippo, Inu Yasha and I were just talking."

"We might as well tell him Ba-ba. I am already starting to show it won't be long before it's even more noticeable."

"Tell me what," Shippo asked sitting up and ruffling his bed flattened hair.

"I'm expecting a pup."

The look on Shippo's face was priceless and all at once you could see the answers he had been seeking about my return come to him. He had realized why Kagome and I could not make a pup together.

And as I saw it fill his thoughts I realized that I did right in leaving Kagome and her time. Our love would be love but neither of us was meant be together, both of us had the job of passing on our genetics and those of someone else. We had to pass on our thoughts, dreams and our stories to others. I suppose that in itself was good enough but now I had to explain to those remaining how I had found myself pupped.

"You must not tell anyone, Shippo. This has to stay within our pack. I will tell Sango and Miroku when the return to visit. I may even need their help."

"Why?"

"Sesshomaru pupped me, its best to avoid rumors and news traveling his way. I want him to think I'm avoiding his contact for no other reason that what's been done."

"Fine…"

"So what do you plan to do, Inu Yasha," asked Kaede.

I sighed, "I will stay here for now since it is the safest place to be hidden until the pup arrives. Sango is coming down with Miroku in a month's time for more healers training. When the pup is born I'd like to follow them back to the youkai hunter territory. With their clan rebuilding itself having me there is like hiding a needle in a haystack. Who would sense me and my pup with all the youkai armor and other parts surrounding their huts, in their weapons, armor, gates and land?"

"Sounds like you've thought this through somewhat Inu Yasha."

I nodded, "I had a feeling I was pupped when my morning retching started. It's a safe bet that it hasn't crossed Sesshomaru's mind that I can be pupped because I'm a lowly hanyou so I should be safe unless rumor and news of my condition spreads."

Kaede nodded and so did Shippo. It was the start of a secret I would kill to keep.

********************************************************

Time seemed to fly as days turned to weeks and the weeks became a month. It was now near the end of July and it felt it. The weather was every bit as hot as one would expect in the summer. Occasionally there were breezes but more often than not they were hot like a breath across your body. I watched as Shippo and the youngin's played in the cool stream a small distance away from the rice patties I helped to tend in the scorching sun.

I stood wiping the sweat off my brow with my arm, which was luckily clean of mud. I heard Shippos's gleeful shout from across the field and watched him bound out of the water and uphill towards two familiar shapes in the distance.

Miroku and Sango…

It had been two years since I had last seen them. And looking at the toddler bobbing along beside them and the one being carried in Miroku's arms I could say that the two of them had been more successful in breeding than I had.

I watched as they talked animatedly and then Shippo jumped up and excitedly pointing in my direction. I watched their heads turn and the confused expressions form on their faces. I stood up straighter and wiped my hands along my pants legs before stepping out of the patties and walking towards Kaede's hut. I wasn't looking forward to explaining things so I opted to make my way to the cold mountain fed springs instead.

It was a bit of a walk but a quiet one. I found the spring and took a deep whiff of air tasting it on my tongue, scenting to be sure that it was safe before I undressed. Nothing out of the ordinary hit my sensitive nose so I simply started undressing, setting my clothes beside me. Once I was completely nude I leaned over the spring dipping the first article of clothing into it slapping it against stones and the water before scrubbing it against the rocky sides. When I finished the first I hung it up on a near by branch in the sweltering sun to dry. I did this with each piece of clothing and when I had them all hanging in various places on various sunlit branches I stepped into the spring slowly and carefully. I had become much more cautious now that I was with pup. It wouldn't do to harm the life within me because of my own stupidity and clumsiness.

Soon I was waist deep in the middle of clear cold water that smelled slightly of pine. I ducked my head under watching the water overhead shimmer in the shining sun. I came up, my long locks plastered against my head, neck and back. It felt nice and relaxing as I washed away the grime, dirt and sweat from my body, stopping when my hands slid over my ever present swell which grew a little more each day.

It looked as though I had simply over-eaten at first but now, now it looked like a small melon had been pushed under my skin. I lay my hands over it and closed my eyes. I could feel a faint aura, very faint but there. I carried a full demon, I could tell. One would not feel the aura of a hanyou or human, not unless they were powerful but even then their aura's felt "different" from those of youkai.

I lay against a smooth rock near the springs edge and watched the sky filter through the leaves and wondered what I carried, a male or female pup. The hot breeze blew across my body drying my bangs in its attempt at cooling those out in the heat.

I finally stood and made my way out of the spring, stopping to quench my thirst in a small waterfall before gathering my now dried clothes and slipping them on. They felt more comfortable with the sticky sweat washed away and smelled a lot better as well. I flipped my hair over my shoulders and made my way back to Kaede's hut. As I walked the sky darkened, like the dimming of a candle in a darkened room.

I saw many of the field hands and farmers heading back to their own dwellings for dinner and sleep which I too wanted to do but something told me even with my absence and Kaede and Shippo to tell the tale I would still have much to explain.

Upon reaching the hut I stepped inside and witnessed a wide-eyed infant starring up at me. I starred down at what I assumed was a young girl as she studied me. Her eyes were a deep brown and her hair the smooth silky ebony tresses that resembled Sango's. Her facial structure and eye shape were all Miroku, one could wonder if he had looked similar to this when he was her age. She suckled her thumb, a raggedy cloth which I assumed was a blanket held tight against her small pudgy body. She removed her thumb and looked up at me, giving me a smile.

"Puppy!"

I couldn't imagine what look I had on my face but I heard the laughter behind her but I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

"No, Hitomi. Inu Yasha," Sango said as she walked towards her daughter.

Hitomi gave a once over and then pointed up at my face declaring once again, "Puppy", turning towards her mother with her face set in a stern manner as if daring her mother to tell her other wise.

I knelt in front of her and pointed at my ears, "puppy", I asked as I eyed her.

She grinned and nodded, "Puppy!"

"Want to feel," I asked.

She nodded eagerly so I lowered my head allowing her to pet my ears hearing her ohh's and ahh's as she did so. When she had her fill she patted my knee to get my attention. I looked at her and watched as she wrapped her arms around my knees and attempt to climb into my lap.

I grinned and lifted her into my arms, holding her close, "She's a cute kid Miroku, definitely takes after her mother."

"Oh, I agree her looks are mine but her manners definitely came from Miroku," said Sango as she sniffed but gave a grin all the same.

I held Hitomi close as I sat down beside the fire place with the others, their eldest child watching me cautiously from across the fire a look of jealousy and curiosity across freckled cheeks.

"What's your name kid," he gave me a surprised look before glancing down.

"This is our son Katsurou," said Sango as she softly ruffled his hair.

The night had continued on in much the same manner as Katsurou watched me with curious eyes weighing me with a gaze much unlike a child while his sister lay sleeping in my lap. We woke Hitomi to eat and when the meal was finished I watched Miroku lift his yawning daughter and carry her into the guest quarters. Sango looked down at her soon and said softly, "Go ahead Katsurou."

He gave me a look that said what was on his mind so I stood up and knelt in front of him lowering my head to his height. When I felt nothing I took a deep breath, "Go ahead kid, touch them. I can't kneel here all night."

I felt his hands quickly pet and softly squeeze my ears and then the sound of his hurried footsteps as he ran to the guest room, Sango and Kaede chuckling at his quick departure.

"Thank you, Inu Yasha. I believe that you will be a good parent, it seems as though you can read children pretty well," Sango said as I situated myself back into my abandoned space.

"It's not hard; he reminds me a little of Kagome's younger brother and a lot of Shippo."

The quiet loomed over us until Miroku returned, child free. He sat down beside his wife and cleared his throat.

"We've heard what happened from Kaede and Shippo and we're more than excited to have you join us once the pup is born, Inu Yasha. We'll be her until next spring so Sango can complete her healer training. Hat will give you plenty of time to recover after the birth of the pup."

I let out my held breath and nodded, "Thanks Miroku, Sango."

The rest of the night was spent in quiet conversation about Sango's training and my impending delivery.

To Be Continued…..l

I haven't given up on my older stories; my muse just wouldn't let me continue until I at least started this one. I'm still alive and writing. I'm still staffing Otakon as well as other cons so basically I'm pretty freaking busy especially when you add the fact that I only get one day off a week. Well bye for now!

Kat ^_^


	3. Chapter 3: Created you a monster

**Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 3: Created you a monster**

It's funny how time continues to fly whether you want it to or not. The month of August came and went and I was glad to see it go. It was one thing to endure the heat and another to endure it while four months pregnant. No one argued when I opted not to leave the cool comfort of Kaede's hut or the mountain fed spring.

It was now mid September and the weather was once again cooling down to comfortable levels. Kaede and Sango wandered the fields in another test of what plants, herbs and trees could be used as remedies and in basic first aid. Miroku was out on another mission exercising bad spirits. Shippo and I had been coerced into babysitting Hitomi and Katsurou. It wasn't as bad as I thought, the two were easily amused and a simple walk in the woods or a ball brought them giggling at my feet. Katsurou seemed to take everything in stride; his cool attitude was slowly melting away but he still seemed weary of anyone other than his immediate family.

We sat in a small grassy field, Shippo playing leapfrog with Katsurou and Hitomi chasing anything that moved among the flowers, her current target was a helpless lady bug. As I watched them I felt a small fluttering, almost ticklish feeling inside the melon shaped ball that was now my midsection. I placed my hand on it feeling it once more.

I grinned despite myself as the tickling continued.

"What's wrong Inu Yasha," asked Shippo as he and Katsurou came running up to me catching Hitomi's attention in the process.

"The pup has decided to finally get my attention," I said with a grin.

"You can feel it," asked Katsurou looking wide eyed.

"Just a little," I replied looking into those dark eyes filled with wonder.

"Touch," called Hitomi.

"You can touch but you won't be able to feel it yet, Hitomi."

She looked at me, confused.

"What does it feel like," asked Shippo.

"My Mom's tummy would wiggle and you could feel bumps when she was carrying Hitomi," said Katsurou, his eyes still fixed on my ever-growing waistline.

"We won't feel those for another month or so. Right now…," I pulled Shippo close and tickled his stomach causing him to giggle and struggle to get away.

"It feels like that."

Katsurou looked envious so I reached over and tickled him too causing him to laugh out loud which was a very pleasant sound.

"Me, me, me!"

I laughed and looked down at Hitomi, picking her up and tickling her until she giggled out, "stop" repeatedly.

Sango and Kaede approached us from the fields smiling as they did so, telling me they had seen the tickle attacks.

"Have you been having fun," Sango asked as she approached.

"Inu Yasha can feel the pup," Shippo announced hopping around excitedly.

"That's great news, sounds as though everything is progressing well," said Kaede with her hands on her lower back.

"Let's head back and get dinner started," said Kaede and by the time I stood she had shuffled past me. I could tell this pregnancy was only going to get more fun as it progressed.

********************************************************

October came in flurry of brightly colored leaves they blew in the wind and covered the ground in a carpet of warm colors. I was trying to teach Shippo to hunt in the noisy environment and how to use the sounds around you to blend in. It was hard teaching him when my ever growing middle not only slowed me down but caused my movements to become louder and more clumsy but we pulled it off, bringing home small amounts of meat after each session, enough to feed us with a bit left over to be salted and stored in meat shed. Katsurou often followed and did just as well as Shippo even with his young age and lack of demon abilities. He was extremely proud of his sling caught squirrel.

I was thankful for the chilly weather; I was now able to hide my expanding middle in layers of clothes. It was sometimes too warm but better safe than sorry.

Later in the month we all joined the town in its harvest. It was a large gathering of wheat, corn, wild rice, squash and pumpkins of all kinds as well as apples. We had fresh apples often and it seemed as though I couldn't get enough of them. Kaede told me not to worry when I voiced my concerns, saying that it was just a craving due to the unborn pup. She bought a few large bushels and jarred a few in slices, while others she mashed and placed them into jars with cinnamon calling it "apple sauce" which was a new addiction of mine. Now if only I had some of that ramen to eat with it.

********************************************************

November was a pleasant month spent with the young ones teaching them what I knew of nature and hunting, more often that not walking with Hitomi tied to my back. I had found a quiet joy in their company and I often wondered if Kagome had found a happiness of her own. Had she married Honjou? She should have graduated and finished her worlds "High School". I was betting that she was headed to another type of school called "college". She said she wanted to get a degree in history, she's seen enough of it so she should do fine.

Even with these thoughts I still managed to continue my current life, the pup kicking my abused bladder. I rubbed my overly large middle and continued walking, my breath now making wisps of smoke in the cold air.

"Hungry, Yasha," said Hitomi from my back.

I stopped and cupped my hands around my mouth, "Katsurou, Shippo! It's time to head back."

I heard the crunching of leaves and saw them come running, racing back to my side. They were almost nose to nose but I saw Shippo stop short letting Katsurou win. Both were rosy cheeked and out of breath but happiness shined in forest green and ebony eyes.

"Let's head back and get dinner ready before Kaede-baba and your mother get back from the nearby town. I bet it would surprise them."

Both nodded, still fighting to catch their breath as we turned around headed toward home. Once home I had found I had two willing helpers underfoot. I grabbed a small cracker and held it behind my back until small fingers plucked it from mine. I got two pieces of cloth and tied my sleeves back. I had Shippo start the den fire and sent Katsurou to gather some potatoes and leeks from the storage closet. I set a clean pot on the floor and when both Shippo and Katsurou returned I sent them outside to fill it with water. Once it was filled I placed it over the fire by hanging it on the fire place hook.

I had them fetch me another small bowl of water while I fetched a large bowl of rice from a storage bag. The boys helped me pour the rice into the water and rinse it until it was cleaned and then we dumped the water and the two went to fetch more water while I handed Hitomi another cracker and gathered the potatoes, peeling them and then cutting them into smaller pieces. I dropped the potatoe pieces into the bowling pot above the fire. I snagged another pot and pulled another hook over the fire and placed a small pot with the rice near the flame. The two returned and I poured a small amount of water into the rice.

As the rice and potatoes boiled I sliced the leeks and put them into a bowl for Shippo to dump into the pot of potatoes. I added a few spices and a little bit of salted chicken and fish to give the soup some flavor and with the left over water I set a tea pot to boiling. I untied Hitomi from my back and set a blanket a little ways from our eating area, setting her on it with her favorite doll.

The boys gathered plates and bowls and set them before the fire. No sooner had the potato and leek soup finished than Miroku walked in removing his sandals and thick woolen cloak. He came in and gave his son and daughter a hug before sitting in front of the fire.

"It feels nice in here, smells nice too. I see you and the boys have been busy."

"Dinner will be done soon, the tea has just started to boil," I answered as I pulled up a stool to sit on.

The tea kettle started whistling just as I sat and I sighed and attempted to stand.

"Stay sitting Inu Yasha, I'll fetch the tea; Shippo why don't you put a nice big scoop of rice in each bowl and Katsurou why don't you ladle some soup into the larger bowls."

Both did as asked and I sat there stunned. Dinner was done and tea was poured into cups just as the entrance to the hut opened again allowing Kaede and Sango entrance.

"It smells wonderful in here. Was this your doing Miroku," asked Sango as she slid off her sandals and woolen cloak and then helped Kaede with her cloak.

"As much as I would love to take credit for this I have to admit that it was Inu Yasha's doing."

"I had help," I replied placing my hands on my belly hoping to quiet my now active pup.

"Well done Inu Yasha, your pup will be lucky to have you as its mother," said Kaede as she sat down on a cloth mat before the fire.

The words made me blush and my eyes teared just a little. Damn hormones….

To Be Continued…

THANK YOU for reading! Thank you for all your reviesws, they mean a lot. I plan to continue my stories I just have to get this one finished. This idea has been nagging at me for over a year now. I figure if I get written then I can devote my time to my other fics once again.

So here's hoping~!!!

Kat


	4. Chapter 4: Broken by the rules of love

**Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 4: Broken by the rules of love**

The month of December was upon us and the beginning of the month had blessed us with much snow. Shippo and Katsurou bundled up and played outside as often as we would let them. On days when the snow wasn't as deep and the skies were clear I gave them tracking lessons as well as secrets to avoid others from following their tracks. The lessons went well and both were great students. Katsurou had had some training in Sango's youkai hunting village from what was left of her now once again growing tribe.

As my pup and belly grew I found myself unable to do the simplest tasks. Bending over was damn near impossible and sitting and standing were now assisted. My back was often sore and throbbing along with my feet and ankles. I grinned and bore the pain and even the constant bathroom breaks.

I also became a training subject for Sango. She knew much about pregnancies having had two her self but male pregnancy and youkai were two new aspects of it for her. Both she and Kaede took constant notes on my physical and emotional behaviors.

As of late I excitedly waited for the birth of my pup and dreaded it all at once. And today was no exception.

"Inu Yasha, are you okay?"

I looked up from my belly which was tightened and rubbed it slowly, "Yeah, I think."

Sango gave me a look of disbelief but let it drop for the time being. I fumbled on my stool until I was standing and waddled my way to the storage shelf pulling out two large quilts. I walked back to a corner of the room that had become mine as of late and laid the blankets down on a small futon Kaede had procured for me. I arranged them and rearranged them until they felt soft and fluffy and "perfect" and then the all too familiar tightening in my stomach happened again. I rubbed my belly until it loosened and then stood up.

I made my way to the doorway and grabbed one of the many woolen cloaks hanging in the doorway and wrapped it around my body.

"Inu yasha," Sango hesitated saying the unsaid question full of worry.

"I'm just going for a quick walk. I'm feeling kind of restless."

She gave a small smile and nodded.

I opened the door and saw Miroku outside playing with the little ones. I walked outside and trekked past them waving a hello as I did so. I had no destination really, I just kept walking in the crunching snow watching as the pale gray sky and tree's passed. Before I knew it I had found myself standing in front of the all too familiar well. My stomach tightened again, this time painful enough to stop my breath and not stopping at my stomach but pulling deep in my lower back.

I slid down to sit with the well supporting my back. I felt the pain lessen and I sat there watching a few snow flakes fall slowly to the ground until once again the pain stole my breath. It was then that the smell of copper filled my nose. Blood, I was bleeding. It wasn't serious, Sango and Kaede had told me of the body bleeding as it readied to expel the child and knew that these tightening's were more than mere pains.

My pup wanted out, he or she was ready to join the outside world. I gasped as my stomach tightened again and struggled to stand, rocking back and forth in order to get up. I was occupied by the pain and hadn't noticed the shuffling foot steps. It was the raspy voice that drew my attention.

"Do you need help mutt face?"

I looked up into the deep blue green eyes of Kouga, wolf prince and knew I must have been a pitiful sight. I took a deep breath and nodded adding in a soft "please".

I watched his eyes widen and saw the knowledge of what I had said fill them. He held out his hands and I took them shakily. He helped heave me to my feet and that movement caused the pup to kick harshly deep in their cramped space. I wrapped my arms around my belly and started to slowly shuffle past him.

"There's blood where you were sitting," he said surprised.

"I know," I said as I continued walking.

"Are you hurt….and why are you so fat? Wait, you smell different mutt."

I didn't answer but I felt his presence behind me, following.

"You smell familiar…like the females in my tribe…"

God, he's dumb!

I then heard him sputtering, "You're with pup!?"

"Keep it…down…wimpy wolf," I responded winded.

"How did you become bitch," he asked softly as he followed closely beside me.

"It's a long story…just do me a favor and keep your muzzle shut. I'd like it to stay a secret…ow…"

"It's coming!?"

Like I said, he's an idiot.

"Want to be of some use and go tell Sango that it's time"?

"What about you? I can't just leave you out here by yourself! You smell of blood and pups, and at the moment you're pretty weak. You do know that pregnant females are a delicacy to some youkai right?"

I sighed and hissed as the pain worsened, "Fine stay with me just please stop screaming, I'd prefer to not draw any more attention to us then necessary."

The tree's lessened and I saw the Kaede's hut in the distance and outside of it were Shippo, Katsurou and Miroku still playing. We neared as my belly kept cramping and I was close enough to see the expressions on their faces as they played. I watched as Shippo looked up and started waving excitedly smiling. I watched as the smile faded and a look of terror crossed that small face. I turned around and saw a small group of youkai at our backs. I waddled a little faster and then felt a pair of arms lift me into the air as we gained speed.

We sped past Shippo and the gang who soon followed us to Kaede's hut. Kaede and Sango stood at the hut entrance with questioning looks. Kouga set me down in front of them and looked back at the demons that came closer to the village.

"Demon slayer, grab your weapon. Inu Yasha's scent has attracted some of the smaller demons and we need to destroy them before it gathers unwanted attention. I have a feeling there are certain demon's that would be curious as to why the lesser ones are gathering here."

Sango nodded and patted me on my shoulder, "Go inside Inu Yasha. Kaede, he's in labor."

She grabbed her weapon and headed out just as Katsurou and Shippo made their way to the hut, Katsurou holding Hitomi close.

"Come inside boys, I'll have work for you to do, Inu Yasha change from those clothes and into a clean robe."

I waddled my way inside Kaede leading me past my futon and into her small room.

"It's best if you birth here. I'll have Katsurou and Shippo bring in your bedding, go get changed," she said handing me a cream colored robe.

I watched and waited as Shippo and Katsurou carried in my futon and laid it on floor in a corner of the room.

"I want you two to go and take a bucket and place it in the pot over the stove and start boiling water. When you're done that bring me clean towels and linens."

The two followed her advice and I changed out of my soiled robes and set them aside, slipping on the cream colored one. Pains assaulted my body as I did so, making it a slow process.

The sound of battle echoed through the village and it was clearly heard in Kaede's hut since they were practically fighting on the doorstep.

"Don't concern yourself with the battle. Concentrate on that pup's delivery. I nodded and found myself at a loss as to what to do, where to sit or whether I wanted to sit or lay. The pains continued and time seemed to center around when the next pain would come. I could hear Shippo and Katsurou's voice distantly, saying that the water was boiling and I felt my body's changes as I paced back and forth, hoping gravity would help.

The pains gained strength and soon I found myself kneeling on one of the quilts I had pulled from the storage closet, my arms braced against the wooden walls. I felt the pressure grow and center between my legs at the entrance that had been virgin before Sesshomaru's assault nine months ago.

"Kaede, Kaede, Kaede! Sesshomaru is outside!"

I gasped as another contraction hit at the same time as the news.

"What says he," she asked kneeling down behind me, pulling my hair behind me.

"He wanted to know why the youkai suddenly started attacking and why Inu Yasha's blood is scented on the air and by the well," replied Shippo in his excitedly worried tone.

I tensed and hissed as the weight deep inside pressed down more at my entrance.

"And what was he told," asked Kaede as I felt her tugging softly at my hair until it was plaited and pulled over my shoulder.

"Kouga said he saw him leave the well an hour ago with minor wounds," he replied.

"Mama and Papa told him that they hadn't seen Inu Yasha since he wandered off nine months ago," replied Katsurou.

"Has he left," she asked.

"No…he..he's…still out there…I can sense him…," I gasped out as my entrance strained further.

"I don't think he believes us," said Shippo as his fangs worried his lower lip.

"If I must convince him I will," she stood and put her hands behind her back stretching before going over and picking up a thick piece of leather.

"I'll need you to be silent if this is to work, when the pain gets to you bite down on this. It helps and that way you don't break any teeth."

No sooner had she handed it to than I felt my entrance strain and rip. I grabbed the leather and put it between my teeth, biting down as scream bubbled up from my throat.

"Come boys," she said as she left, closing the door.

I gasped for breath through the gag and my nose and fought to be quiet so I could listen in, my sensitive ears swerving here and there to find the direction.

"Why are you causing unease outside my home, Lord Sesshomaru?"

"This Sesshomaru wants to know why those youkai attacked your cottage and why my hanyou brother's scent is by the well."

"I believe you could tell us more than we could tell you. Last time these old eyes saw Inu Yasha was nine moths ago. I believe you were sighted round this way then, Lord Sesshomaru."

I felt some satisfaction but it was short lived when the straining pressure grew and when pain and relief became one as relief came pouring down my inner things, pooling beneath me. My waters had broken.

The pain intensified and I scraped my claw-like nails down the wall leaving trails in their wake. I once again found my body tightening and screaming as loud as the leather gag would allow me.

"Who is in your hut, healer," asked Sesshomaru with some venom.

"That would be a young mother birthing her first child. Don't tell me you suspect that she is your brother. If you do please follow me into the hut, I suspect her waters have broken and the child is crowning."

An awkward pause filled the air and I silently prayed he would leave as my opening strained further and the feel of something pushing through it caused another scream to tear from my now abused throat.

"I've no more time to waste on you, that child will be born with or without me but I give the mother more of a fighting chance with me there. Sango, come and leave his royal highness standing there. I need your assistance."

I heard foot steps and then I turned and watched as Kaede followed by Sango entered the room.

"Let me check you, Inu Yasha." I stayed kneeling as Kaede's hands slide under my robe and to my entrance which was now one throbbing ache in itself.

"It's crowning. Do you wish to stay kneeling or do you want to lie down," Kaede asked as she removed her hands.

"Kneeling," I said as I spit out the leather.

I felt Sesshomaru's presence slowly vanish and knew he had left.

"Sango, fetch a bowl of boiled water and bring it in here and set it to my right."

I felt searing pain through my back and middle as my body worked to expel the pup inside me.

"Push through each pain. When the pain stops you stop and take a small break."

I nodded and leaned more against the wall as the pain left my body. It was only a small respite and soon another began.

"Push! That's it! Keep pushing!"

I felt that pressure building as the head of my pup began to make its way out.

"Give me your hand Inu Yasha," demanded Kaede.

I did as told and she led it to where opening and where she placed it sent my mind reeling as I felt the top of my pups head, feeling the wet and slime covered orb covered in slicked back hair.

"No, dog ears…." Was all I could say.

I heard Kaede and Sango's chuckles and I almost felt foolish for having said it.

"It's a shame really, I rather hoped he or she would have them," said Sango.

Pain hit again and I did as asked and pushed until I could feel the forehead and upper half of my pup's nose. I placed both hands back on the wall and concentrated on gathering my energy.

"Almost there Inu Yasha, once the heads out it's all down hill from there," said Sango.

Pain startled me and I began pushing once more.

"That's it! Keep going!"

It was then that I felt a "pop" and most of the pressure had disappeared.

"Good job Inu Yasha, the heads out!"

"Deep breath and push slowly…good good," coached Kaede.

I felt the shoulders and then the rest of my pups body slip from my own and heard shouts of happiness.

I leaned against that clawed up wall and breathed, fighting for my breath as waited to hear my pups cry. I heard a snip and felt my connection to my pup sever. I got on all fours shakily and turned to see my pup.

No sooner had I turned myself to see it than cries cut into the air coming from a small naked…boy. Boy! I had a son! His cries were loud and healthy and his. I collapsed onto the dirty and filth covered quilt, thankful for a resting place.

"Congratulations, Inu Yasha," whispered Sango with a soft smile.

"Come Inu Yasha, spread your legs. The afterbirth still has to be delivered. You'll get to hold your pup soon enough."

I felt a few weak twinges, smaller pains than those from before but did as asked and soon I felt a soft mass pass onto the quilt below me followed by a warm rag moving over my legs and private areas. I hissed as water containing herbs leaked into open tears and still sore areas.

I was helped into a standing position and a thick piece of cloth was stuck between my opening to catch the fluids and blood still draining from my body. I was helped into a new robe and led to my futon. I was helped into a laying position and given a warm cup.

"Drink, it'll help heal your body as well as numb the pain."

I looked across the room when Sango was wrapping my freshly bathed pup in a clean blanket.

She stood up and carried him towards me and felt my heart constrict just a little. I would finally get to see the small life that had grown inside of me for nine months.

As she leaned down and placed the bundle in my arms I cradled him close and pulled the blanket from his arms and chest, reveling in pink plump perfection. I pulled his left arm out counting five fingers with five perfect finger nails and then did the same for the right. I lifted his right foot and counted five toes with five toe nails and repeated it with the left. I then explored perfectly pointed ears and soft now fluffly white hair, almost silver by candle light which now covered the room since night had fallen around us.

His cheeks were plump and as of yet had no sign markings and probably wouldn't until he hit puberty if he developed them at all but he did have a small blue crescent moon upon his brow. I was now betting he would develop those stripes later on in life.

I cuddled him close, his crying dying down a little as I did so.

"It's best to feed him, it'll also help speed up your body's process of returning to normal."

I opened the new robe to reveal my now swollen and leaking chest and gently led him to my willing nipple. At first he turned his nose up at and then he latched on sucking heartily.

I watched him suckle and closed my eyes, laying further into the pillows behind me.

"What will you name him," asked Sango as she placed a large basket already covered with blankets beside me.

"Ryuusei," I said softly as I used my free hand to caress his soft silvery tresses.

She smiled, "Very appropriate."

I felt the suction lessen and then he let go all on his own. I watched as Sango lifted him from my arms and laid him against her chest, gently patting his back until a soft burp was heard. I continued to watch as she placed him in the basket by my bedside and covered his lower body with a soft baby blanket and then felt her lean over me, closing my robe and then tucking me in.

"Sleep Inu Yasha, you'll have much work ahead of you come morning."

With that I closed my eyes and left the stress, numbed pain and exhaustion pull me into sleep.

To Be Continued….

YAY~!! More to come. Please enjoy.


	5. Chapter 5: And fate has led you through

**Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 5: And fate has led you through it**

That next day began at three am with my sons healthy wails. I moved, hissing as I did so and lifted him from his cocoon of soft blankets in his basket. I felt his bottom and found it wet. I took a deep breath and held him tightly to my chest as I sat up further. I was glad to see that Sango had thought ahead, leaving a small pile of cloths to be used as diapers and a small bowl of water with lavender. I laid Ryusei on my lap and undid his wet and opening it; dirty, diaper. I wiped what I could with the soiled one before folding it up and setting it aside, picking up a cloth to lay his bottom on while I washed up the rest of his mess with a cold rag to which he voiced his displeasure on. I then grabbed another cloth and doubled it before tying it closed against his now dry bottom.

His whimpers all but stopped but his mouth pulled into a pucker and he made soft sucking noises letting me know of his hunger. I slid my robe from my left shoulder and brought him to my chest which he eagerly latched on to and drank hungrily from. Once he had finished I did as I had saw Sango did and then wiped the milky drool from his lips and surrounding mouth. He fell asleep not too soon after that and I lay awake a few moments longer just watching him sleep. I did that for a few moments more debating about placing him in his basket. I fought the urge and instead placed him beside me, bringing the covers over us both, snuggling him against me falling asleep.

I woke later in the afternoon and found three eager faces hovering over me.

"Puppy," asked Hotomi's all too cheerful voiced asked.

"No, not a puppy," I replied sitting up and uncovering Ryusei enough that they could see him.

I let them get closer and watched as their eyes widened in amazement that only the younger children had. I felt eyes on my and looked up. There in the doorway stood Kouga.

"You can come in and see my son as well mangy wolf. I won't bite, I promise."

I watched as he entered and made his way over. He knelt down behind the children and looked over their heads at my son and gave a nod.

"He looks healthy, looks an awful lot like your brother. You know, the one who showed up yesterday looking for his hanyou brother in other words…you."

I looked down at Ryusei and placed my fingers above his and reveled in the softness of his skin.

"You can't ignore this Inu Yasha, it sounds like he's searching for you for one reason or another. He's royalty and that means he has connections and he'll find you one way or another."

I looked up into his deep cerulean eyes and saw concern.

"I know…I just…I know…I'd rather not talk about this in front of the little ones."

"You can avoid the issue for now but eventually that little ones going to wonder who his sire is and you won't stay out of heat forever. If Sesshomaru has claimed you as his with or without marks he will find you."

I watched as he placed his hand softly on Ryusei's head and smiled.

"He's a handsome kid Inu Yasha. I'll keep my word and your secret, should you need my aid you know where to find me."

And with that he left the room and the hut and then the village.

I learned later on from Sango and the others that Kouga had helped rid the village of the rampaging demons and had even helped to dispose of the bodies. Kaede said he refused to leave until he saw that Ryusei and I were both well.

I fed Ryusei continuously throughout the day and wondered at all his parts and functions and movements. Every yawn, burp and noise had my attention.

This continued for days until I was healthier and healed and able to move more freely among the house. I found myself in a quiet routine of cooking and cleaning with Ryusei attached to my body by a wrap that Sango had me. He never left my side for longer than a minute or two.

Ryusei grew in pounds and inches and his eyes opened revealing molten gold like mine and his fathers, eyes that were often lit with happiness and curiosity. His body grew stronger and soon his neck could support his head and it no longer bobbed here or there. His hands and tiny fingers grabbed at anything they could get a hold of, my hair was often his target. I had taken to braiding it like Kaede had on his Ryusei's birth day. A braid which he tugged on constantly to get my attention, which worked every time, Kaede often said that Ryusei had me wrapped around his small fingers, and he did.

His legs gained strength as December became January and January became February. He kicked and when I lay him down on soft blankets on the floor he worked his small muscles until he finally rolled himself over. I stopped whatever I was doing and watching the surprise cover his tiny face at his accomplishment.

He went from rolling over to hands and knees by the time spring came and was crawling around freely when April came. He was into everything and anything, which often went into his mouth which was beginning to sprout small teeth here and there. Teething; was tiring and patience testing time. Crying and moodiness became common place with my once pleasant Ryusei.

It was also during that time of moodiness that Ryusei also learned to stand and took his first few steps. As April became May Sango had finished her training and begun to pack to leave. Kaede was taking on another apprentice so I too begun my packing with the few things that Ryusei and I had attained over the few months and said our farewell's.

Shippo would be staying, saying that someone had to guard the village and Kaede-baba. I would have said otherwise if I hadn't noticed the height and muscle he had gained and if I hadn't help train him my self. The brat now stood at my waist and was as quick if not quicker than his animal counter part the fox.

Katsurou had gained a few inches himself but still had more to go, he was only going on six so it was no surprise but his mature demeanor always made one think he was much older. He reminded me of his Uncle Kohaku in that aspect, Kohaku who was still with my brother and his ward Rin, my brother who was my deciding factor to leave with Sango and Miroku.

We were packed and ready to go, with Ryusei strapped to my front and our belongings on my back I said my goodbyes by giving in and letting Kaede hug me, pretending to not enjoy it while she did so and giving Shippo a rough noogie, ruffling and misplacing his bright red locks in the process. I watched as Sango and Miroku said their goodbyes along with Hitomi and Katsurou and then we were on our way.

Life on the road brought back many memories from years past, traveling together to find shards, fighting many stray beasts as we did. It felt strange to travel with children this time around although more pleasant.

It was fun teaching Hitomi and Katsurou and watching as Ryusei stared in awe at everything around him. It was on the road that Ryusei said his first word, "Chichiue". It came out a bit more jumbled but we all understood what was said. That one word led to his next which was milk and then more and followed by hungry. By the time we had reached the village he was trying out his new words in sentences.

I was given my own hut in the back of the walled village and it was there that Ryusei and I made our home.

It is said that the happier you are the faster time passes. I spent the year helping in the hunt of rogue youkai in the surrounding area and the rest of my days were spent helping with the planting and harvesting of plants. I became a source of information on youkai and often retold stories of our travels to teach young hunters.

Ryusei grew and made friends with Hitomi and Katsurou's help. He grew from a small pudgy infant who stumbled and mumbled to a gangly youth who ran around with his gang of young accomplices in trouble with the ease of a six year old. It made me proud to see the small crimson lines appear on his cheeks as he grew and amazed me more to see his skills in tag and hide n seek. He had a grace I never would and I knew only Sesshomaru could take credit for that. His hair was silver white like the light of a full moon and had to be pulled back into a pony tail atop his head to keep it from covering his eyes and getting tangled bushes, trees and thorns which was an amusing sight to see. His eyes were a harvest moon come to life.

It hurt to see him when he gave an arrogant or angry pout. So much of Sesshomaru could be see in his stance and mannerisms.

********************************************************

It was a hot July day when a messenger from Kaede's village arrived in ours bearing ill news, Kaede-baba had taken sick and it didn't look too good.

Once again we packed meager belongings and said our goodbyes as we set out on the road, with promises of returning. Sango was nearing the end of her fourth pregnancy and couldn't risk the journey and I didn't blame Miroku and the kids for staying. I promised I would send them word and then I left with Ryusei at my side.

It was a somber walk and the hot weather stole ones breath and made it hard to breath. I found myself winded and out of breath but I pressed on. I knew others found themselves walking on eggshells around me because the heat had me more hostile than usual but it was hard not to be. My body itched from sweat and my body ached with it.

"ChiChiue, when will we reach the village," asked Ryusei at my side.

"Soon Ryu, soon."

"How soon," he asked.

I turned to glare down at him causing him to swallow. I felt bad and took a deep breath and stopped to wipe at my brow. No one else seemed to be bothered by the heat so I wiped at my brow once more and continued walking with Ryu's hand in mine.

"We should be there soon."

"By tonight," he asked squeezing my hand.

"Yes," I replied squeezing his hand reassuringly.

He smiled and I smiled despite my sour disposition and heated body.

We reached the village before the sun reached high in the sky and found the village in a somber mood.

"Inu Yasha?"

I looked ahead and found a young man who looked to be in his mid teens staring back it me with pine green eyes and bright red hair which was long and pulled in a messy pony tail atop his head in a green ribbon. I looked him over seeing long slender legs; or should I call them paws and an all too familiar large fluffy tail wagging behind him.

"Shippo, is that you?"

I watched as he smiled, nodding.

"I see Ryusei's really grown, he really reminds me of a little Shesshomaru."

I nodded and then Shippo got quiet and turned around, "She's in her hut. She doesn't look too good. I think that…this may be…"

He fell quiet and I nodded following him. We came to the hut, stopping outside as Ryusei tugged at my hand.

"I don't want to go in there ChiChiue, it smells like something bad."

I knelt in front of Ryusei and took his hands in mine, "It's the smell of death Ryusei. It's not like the death I've shown you, this is the death that comes with sickness or age."

"Like the Kouta from our village," he asked with his young eyes trembling.

"Yes, like Kouta," I replied pulling him close.

"Do not be scared Ryusei, come in and let Kaede-baba see you and then you may love but be respectful and let her see how you've grown."

"But the smell…."

"Is just that, and it is rude to show that it bothers you. If you want to be around humans and make friends with them then this is a hard lesson to learn and you must learn it."

He nodded solemnly and I stood up letting him take my hand as we went inside. I could not only smell but taste death. Kaede was at the end and youkai always seemed more sensitive to such things as life and death. Most youkai could smell the unborn and the stronger ones could sense, smell or feel conception and the same could be said of death. They could feel it, sense it and taste it. For many it was detestable, most preferred new life to old.

We entered her quarters and there she lay on her futon looking so unreal with her pallid skin and lack of movement.

"Hello, Kaede-baba."

I watched her eyes open and look my way, "Inu Yasha, I see you have grown some. Is that…Ryusei with…you?"

"Yes. Say Hello, Ryusei."

"Hello…" he said softly.

"He…lacks your…anger. It's good…to see…"

"He had what I lacked," I responded.

She smiled and then struggled to breath. I moved to get help and a soft "Stay" came from her mouth.

"No healer….will be able…to help…I am dying, Inu Yasha."

I felt my eyes grow hot and fought the oncoming tears, "Come on now…you're not dying, just finding another way to cause me trouble."

She smiled again gasping for hair.

"Just…like you've…caused me…"

I felt Ryusei tug at my hand and I let his hand go.

I felt him leave us and continued to stay at Kaede's bedside.

"Does, he know…about…his.."

"I've told him, his sire is a Daiyoukai. He doesn't know who."

She nodded and closed her eyes, "Tell me…about your time…with….my sister…"

I did as asked while listening to hear breathing and her slowly beating heart. I had told her what I could and then talked about the years in the Youkai hunter village and at one point she quieted, her eyes closed and her heart just quietly stopped.

I sat there and waited in silence for a sound, any sound but there was none. My eyes were hot with tears and I let them fall.

My last tie to my past had passed away. Kaede had been Kikyou's litte sister and had taken over his sister's legacy while I was sealed to that tree. She had been there for me and our band of misfits and now she was gone. We had lost our pillar. I sat there and I cried, I allowed the tears to fall and fall they did. I couldn't decided why I cried them; whether they were for her and all that had befallen her or whether they were for me and the fact that I had lost an important person to me and my pack. I had lost my source of information and remembrance. I cried until Shippo came to fetch me with some villagers in tow. We left her hut and watched as others entered the hut. I took Ryusei with me into the woods and found my tree and there we spent the night.

Morning came and we made our way to the village burial grounds and there in the heat we watched as the grave that had been dug that night was filled with Kaede's body and then filled over. I felt the powerless beads around my neck and left them there until all the humans had left and with everyone gone I took the beads off and lay them on Kaede's grave.

"Thanks Kaede. If it weren't for you I wouldn't have had all those great experiences."

The heat hit me once more and I decided to take Ryusei and find the all too familiar mountain fed spring to cool off in.

"Shippo, come escape the heat with us."

"Where to," he asked.

"The spring past the well."

"Okay I suppose, we can catch up on all the things I've missed on the way up there."

"Yeah, and you can fill me in on that little village girl you were flirting with that Kaede had told me about."

Shippo blushed and cleared his throat, "Maybe…"

We were almost to the spring when I felt an all too familiar presence. I looked around looking for the source when someone jumped in front of us, blocking our way.

"Well…well…if it isn't my brother."

My breath caught in my throat and fought to breath as one word left my mouth, "Sesshomaru."

To Be Continued….

How's that?

More tomorrow.

Kat


	6. Chapter 6: You do what you have to do

**Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 6: You do what you have to do**

We were almost to the spring when I felt an all too familiar presence. I looked around looking for the source when someone jumped in front of us, blocking our way.

"Well…well…if it isn't my brother."

My breath caught in my throat and fought to breathe as one word left my mouth, "Sesshomaru."

********************************************************

He stood there in the heat looking no different than any other time I had ever saw him. Never changing, never showing emotion, bundled in his robes and boa as though he were impervious to the heat around him. He stared at me and I grabbed Ryusei pushing him behind me.

"What are you hiding, Inu Yasha?"

"Take him somewhere safe, Shippo!"

I felt Ryusei's hands grab my robe and I fought the urge to turn around.

"ChiChiue!!"

My heart clenched and I watched as Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed one moment and the next I was thrown back with a hand wrapped around my throat.

"Chichiue, is it? Have you been keeping secrets Inu Yasha."

I lifted my hands and fought to remove his one hand from around my neck, struggling to breathe as I did so, my feet above the ground and all my weight on my neck.

"What a dirty whore you are. How many have you spread your legs for, brother?"

The word brother was said with as much venom as one would have said "whore" and it hurt to hear it.

"No..non…none," I gasped out.

"What a pretty mouth for such ugly lies," he said and then I was thrown to the ground. I rolled a few times before coming to stop with my back slamming against a tree.

Any remaining air was forced out of my lungs and I curled in on myself fighting to breath, my chest one deep ache as I did so.

"Tell me brother, whose seed created the child that you're having your bratty fox hide?"

I could breathe again and as he came to stand I fought the fear and urge to scream the truth and pushed myself so that I was on my hands and knees which didn't last long thanks to Sesshomaru's kick to my already bruised ribs.

I felt a clawed hand grab my collar and pull me up so that my collar bore the burden of my weight and my knee's barely scraped the ground.

"Who"

SLAP

"Is"

SLAP

"the"

SLAP

"father"

SLAP

"NO!!!!"

"No, Ryusei!"

I looked up and watched in terror as Shippo ran after a sprinting Ryusei who knocked into the back of Sesshomaru's knee's causing him to drop me. It was silent as I watched Sesshomaru turn around to glare at Ryusei who ran around him and came to stand in front of me with his tiny arms spread wide, glaring at Sesshomaru; his sire, growling.

"Leave, ChiChiue alone!"

I watched through eyes which were beginning to swell from the force of the slaps and fought to sit up, pain keeping my body immobile but fear for my son forcing it into action.

I watched as Sesshomaru stood there staring down at Ryusei, studying him like one wood a mysterious new book that held secrets unbeknownst to others. I watched his eyes travel from head to toe and back. Stopping to stare at Ryusei's forehead where his blue crescent moon stood out against pale skin and then to the darkening crimson stripes along still pudgy adolescent cheeks.

I saw Sesshomaru make a move towards him and I reached out with both arms pulling Ryusei flush against my body holding him tightly, staring up at Sesshomaru.

"Yours…," I croaked.

Sesshomaru's eyes widened momentarily and he stared at me once again with expressionless eyes. I held Ryusei and prayed to the gods to give me strength to protect him.

"Mine," he asked uncertainly.

"The night…we…he was conceived."

I felt my eyes grow hot and tears leaked from swollen lids, "You were the first……and last."

The whore comment had hurt more than I realized. It should have hurt more considering he was my first and only and he was my brother, a family member who was supposed to protect and defend me.

Ryusei continued to glare at him, a soft growl emitting from his tiny throat as Sesshomaru stepped closer. I squeezed him closer wishing we could flee.

"What have we here," asked a loud and cocky voice.

Sesshomaru turned around giving us his back and allowing me to see that Shippo stood next to none other than Kouga.

"This does not concern you…wolf."

"Oh, but I believe it does. See, this here is part of my territory and that mutt you have cornered over there is in heat and is in MY territory. Not only that but you have decided to harm a potential breeding partner while on my land That's breaking quite a few protocols you know, although I suppose you are well aware of protocols LORD Sesshomaru."

At that Sesshomaru's stance changed, he became tenser and anger vibrated in waves from him.

"You have no part in this WOLF and it does not concern you or your pack."

"Oh, and there is where your wrong. As I've already said; he's in heat, he reeks of it and we already know he can bear young and pure blood ones at that but I fear that he will be of no good by time you finish with him. Look at his face; swollen and eyes so swollen that he can barely keep them open. If this is how you treat prospective mates there is no wonder in my mind as to why you have no mate by your side LORD Sesshomaru."

"He is mine and the pup with him proves it! I can do with him as I please!"

"The pup smells of humans and Inu Yasha. He looks like you, but once again, Inu Yasha is unmated. No mark of claim anywhere on him. He smells like territory waiting to be claimed."

"I will claim him!"

I inched back, frightened by the words being spoken and not liking the direction on conversation.

"I believe you must ask my permission for that or fight me since you are claiming what is mine."

I stood shakily and limped to the nearest tree staring at the two of them like they had grown second heads.

How dare them! HOW DARE THEM! I had freed myself from the chains of society and they were fighting to bind me in another set.

I turned with Ryusei and tried to sneak away. Step by step, backwards so I could watch as they argued, worried only for my sons safety if this turned bad.

"I will not ask for permission for what I have already had."

"Then tell me, if you had him, why did you leave him behind? Only a fool leaves his treasure for others to claim."

At that I saw Sesshomaru lunge for Kouga and I grabbed Ryusei and ran through the woods as fast as my body would allow me. We hadn't got very far when something grabbed me by my shoulder yanking me back with such force that I lost my grip on Ryusei's hand causing him to fall forward, knocking his head on the ground.

I was too panicked, trying to get to my fallen son that the sound of cloth ripping meant nothing. I fought with all my strength to get to my fallen child screaming his name when I saw the first trickle of blood made a trail down the side of head.

Stabbing pain broke my attention and I tried turning my head as fangs dug deeper into my right shoulder, as deep as they could with length at their advantage and my forgiving flesh giving way. I felt hot sticky blood pooling on the wound and already making trails down my chest and back.

Rage and dominance radiated from Sesshomaru that burned like real flames keeping any and all in the surrounding area at a distance.

Like before I felt my clothes ripped from my body and felt the vaguely familiar feeling of Sesshomaru's body atop mine as he forced me onto all fours, his length already out and pressing against the back of my legs, bobbing and eager. I looked over at my son and prayed that he was okay and that he would not wake and witness my rape. Rape, once again.

As I was pushed down with Sesshomaru's body and my legs were forced open by his own I wondered if Kouga and Shippo were okay and if they had left the woods, abandoning me to my fate.

I felt him plunge into me without preparation or warning and swallowed my scream as he continued to mercilessly push in and out of my tightened opening. His mouth stayed on my shoulder and bit down tighter as I felt him expanding inside of me. His member vibrated deep inside and quicker than last time he spent himself deep inside me, a knot forming and pushed deep inside, insuring that I would once again carry his heir.

I keened in pain at the deepening penetration of fangs on my shoulder and his length inside of me as power biting and bright swallowed us and consumed us until darkness and quiet filled everything.

********************************************************

I awoke on the forest floor wrapped in a silk robe cocoon and the all too bright setting sun in my eyes. I blinked a few times glancing around as my muddled memories slowly came back to me.

I sat up screaming, "RYUSEI!?" Before hissing and falling back in pain.

"ChiChiue!"

I felt soft hands caressing my face and looked up into my sons soft molten gold eyes filled with worry and a softness that I knew to be love.

"Ryu, are you okay?"

"Yes," he turned and looked behind him and I looked in that direction finding Sesshomaru standing by his chariot with Ah Un connected to it and Kouga and Shippo standing a short distance away in deep conversation.

"The mean one; said he's my Otoosan and that he's taking us…home. What does he mean ChiChiue?"

I felt a stinging sensation in my shoulder and lifted my bare arm out of my warm cocoon and touched his slowly healing bite mark.

"I'm not sure Ryusei," and no sooner had I said that than I found Kouga approaching us with a frown on his face.

He reached us and knelt down beside me.

"Sorry mutt face, I didn't mean for him to get so riled up. He did quite a number on you. At least my plan worked, he didn't pup you again without purpose, you're now his mate which gives you a higher status in youkai society and gives your son rank. I know it was shitty of me but I had to think on my feet and we both know I'm not very good at that."

I watched as he nervously scratched the back of his head, "Look, things will be tough but I know you can do it and if not for you do it for your pups."

He stood up, "We'll see each other again. I'm royalty and now so are you, bide your time do as he says within reason and we'll meet before the birth of your next pup."

"I'm his…", I covered Ryusei's ears, "bitch, how is that royalty?"

"You don't get it do you? He was challenged and in answer he gave you the mating mark which means you are his mate, another's mate is out of bounds and off the market. You'll go through your heat again and again throughout your breeding years which could be 300 or more and every time you'd be at the mercy of the strongest male in the area. Now none can touch except for Sesshomaru and for him to touch others would be uncouth and would cause quite the social uproar. You may be his but he is now yours. It will take time for you to understand fully but I bet in a few years you'll be thanking me."

With that he gave a wave over his shoulder as he walked away and then left in a whirlwind.

I let my hands fall from Ryusei's ears and tried to contemplate my situation but found myself too tired to do so as stress and pain made me bone weary.

"It's okay ChiChuie, sleep. I'll be there when you wake up."

I heard his voice and fought to stay awake but my body wouldn't allow me. I faded into the darkness that pain and exhaustion often brought.

To Be Continued….

Okay, short and a bit rushed but I got it done. My mind is a horrible jumble tonight. So enjoy, be kind and a new chapter will be up tomorrow, maybe….should be……we'll see.

Oh, and Ryusei means "Shooting star". The song "Ryusei" from Naruto inspired me.

Kat


	7. Chapter 7: And fate has led you through

**Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

To the Anonymous reviewer "ew" and your reply "Gross" I sincerely apologize. Evidentially I wasn't working hard enough to bring to life my yaoi scenes if ALL I got was an ew and gross. It makes me feel like less of writer if I couldn't get a WTF or something more creative; I mean I've heard four year olds come up with better replies, seriously; two year olds have way more words in their repertoire. Please, if I take time to gross you out you could at least take time to get a thesaurus or dictionary to find better replies.

Sincerely,

Kat.

PS. To the rest of you, Enjoy and thanks for reading~!

::HUGGLES::

**Chapter 7: And fate has led you through it**

The feel of someone softly tugging on my hair brought me out of my slumber and I suppose I should have panicked but the soft tugging was relaxing and gentle enough that there truly was no need to panic. I blinked my eyes open, feeling that they were no longer as swollen but still a little sore. I looked up finding a gray stone ceiling and followed my line of sight down finding a wall with a thick wooden desk that smelled of cedar, covered in various grooming articles pushed against it.

I slowly turned my head and found Sesshomaru with my hair in-between his fingers, causing my breath to catch in my chest as I fought the rising panic. I looked around ignoring my sore shoulder in search of Ryusei or any sign of him.

"Calm yourself, Inu Yasha. Our son is fine. He is with Rin and Kohaku; the three of them are outside in the garden."

"Wh…where…," I struggled to speak, my throat too dry with misuse. How long had I been asleep?

"You are in your own personal quarters inside our father's palace."

I took in that bit of information and lay there as his hands continued to play with my now loosened locks of hair.

"Your hair has grown quite a bit I suppose that has to do with carrying and hormones, or maybe it just grew with time. Our son seems to have inherited mine. More silver than the pale blue of moonlight like your own."

His words made me angry, somewhere deep inside I harbored hatred for Sesshomaru; my brother. But then again I think anyone in my shoes would feel the same.

"His eyes are fierce like fathers; he seems to have your brave stupidity though."

I turned my head from him and stared at the far wall before tossing onto my side slowly, hissing in pain as I did so, and my back now to him.

"You can turn away from me Inu Yasha but we will talk whether or not it pleases or displeases you."

I closed my eyes and lay there quietly. I heard his soft growl and then I felt his hands reach and before I knew it he held my face in his hand and turned it to face him.

"You will listen when I speak to you, brother."

I slapped his hand away and rolled off the bed growling at him with what voice I had left, my unbraided hair falling into my eyes in crimped waves. I swallowed a few times, feeling saliva moisten my throat.

"Oh, no…brother," I put as much venom into that word as I could just as he had the last time he spoke down to me.

"It's about time you listen to something other than yourself speaking. You see you've made decisions for me that you had no right to. Older brother, what a joke! You raped me and left me with nothing but my own robe covering my abused body. You treated me like less than a relative and the very word brother seeps from your mouth like the venom from your claws. So no brother, we don't need to talk. Maybe you just need to listen."

I pushed myself into a standing position and leaned against to wall for support as I glared at him.

"You left me pupped, left your own child a bastard; yes that's partly my fault but you can't fault me for not wanting to find you after what you'd done. Done, that would mean past tense. I find a life and you show up once again and fuck it up! Oh yes, if your unhappy then others must be too. Oh bow to the great Sesshomaru; pure blood son and ruler of the lands, oh his hanyou brother Inu Yasha isn't fit to rule but fucked and pupped is fine, he can birth his brother proud pure blood pups!"

I found tears coursing down my cheeks and angrily wiped them away leaving scratch marks down my cheeks. I heard movement and watched him come towards me and I felt panicked and moved so that I had my back to the dresser reaching for anything behind me that could become a weapon. I found it in the form of a razor used for shaving and shearing.

I gripped it and thought better of pointing it at him.

"Stay away from me, just stay away."

"Your stressed and frightened and you need to just calm down, it's not good for the unborn pup."

That made me pause a moment, just long enough for him to come stand beside me. I felt his hand once again touch my long tresses and it infuriated me. It was too personal a gesture for him to make.

I moved from his grasp and made my way to a corner, a safe place and held the blade against my own neck.

"Go, go and get my son and bring him to me and then get as far away from me as you can."

He gave me an unemotional look and dead eyes and moved towards the door reaching for my locks as he did so. He opened the door and left and I shuddered.

Why, why I was so freaked out by his touch, why was I allowing his touches earlier and why did part of me want to run behind him and wrap my arms around his ankles and cry for forgiveness. His touch and fingers through my hair left me with an aching loss that I couldn't stand. I looked at my hair hanging over my shoulders and pulled a few locks of it over my shoulder before putting the blade behind them and pulling it through them, feeling the weight of the long locks in my hands. I did this again and again until the weight of my locks were no more and a hand through shortened and uneven locks proved that it was no longer to my knees but now below my ears.

I felt triumphant at having done it and grouped the locks together, tying them in a ponytail with a few thick strands.

I heard a knock at the door and a soft, "ChiChiue?"

The door opened revealing Ryusei and Sesshomaru behind him. Both entered giving second looks at my new sheared look.

"You fool what have you done," asked Sesshomaru showing what looked to be genuine shock.

I tossed him the bundled locks and opened my arms so that Ryusei could run into them.

"I've given you the locks you so enjoyed playing with now leave us be."

He gave me a look I had never before seen on his face and left what were to be my new quarters. While shut away in that room I was given food and drink by servants whose names and faces I didn't know and didn't care to know. Ryusei and I ate and I asked him questions I hadn't had the chance to ask Sesshomaru, like how long I'd been there and how long I'd been asleep, who had been taking care of me and what he had overheard.

I had discovered that sleep had claimed me for a week and that the healers had told Sesshomaru while Ryusei was in his presence that I was in a healing coma. I was betting it had a lot to do with the new pup I had conceived and the injuries sustained before its conception. It's hard for a body to heal itself and create new life and there is not nearly enough energy to do both in my body. He told me of Sesshomaru's doting behavior to both himself and me and how Sesshomaru often asked questions about his upbringing.

As evening came I found myself tucking Ryusei in and then sat in the wide window across the room starring over at the bed, watching the rise and fall of his chest.

Had I lost my mind, why did I feel so aggressive towards Sesshomaru one moment and intensely doting the next?

I put my hand on the now scabbed over bite mark on my shoulder and caressed it while lost in my confused thoughts. I had been preoccupied enough to not notice the door to the quarters being opened and the figure stepping through them.

"Do you feel any better," asked a now calm and cautious baritone.

"Should I?"

He came into the room further and shut the door softly behind him as he did so.

"I…this Sesshomaru is not sure how to act around you."

I laughed softly and realized that my laughter had turned to tears

"You're not sure, how to act around ME?"

I heard Ryusei stir and lowered my voice, "I can't think clearly anymore, I mean I couldn't before but now I feel even more conflicted. Like I could lose myself in you and not care, like I could grovel at your feet and feel completely at peace but I know that it isn't right. The other half of me wants to tear into you, make you hurt, like I have…no we have. I'm not me anymore, I feel like I'm going insane and somehow it's because of you and your damn mark!"

"This Sesshomaru is sorry," he was about to continue but I cut him short.

"No, see it's too late for sorry and using your name instead of saying "I" is your way of distancing yourself from the situation. It's convenient to say the least but you can't distance yourself anymore Sesshomaru; brother. You have made me your mate for better or worse and you have a son and another on the way from what you've said; no not just you…I can feel it, growing inside of me."

I took a deep breath running my hands through shortened hair and laughed and cried in a way that sounded as conflicted as I felt.

"You will do right by me, by us; but not tonight. Leave me be for now and I will sort things out on my own."

I watched him nod and the door open and I watched him fade from the shadows of my now night darkened room like some retreating evil into the light of candlelit hallways and become this ethereal being brightened in bright yellow tones of various flickering flames.

"Goodnight, Inu Yasha; brother, mate."

"Goodnight, Sesshomaru; brother by blood and mate by fate."

With that the door closed and my quarters were bathed in an almost darkness but the light through my starlit windowed seat lit a path to the bed which I followed. I lay on the bed; aching physically and emotionally as I cuddled against my son, who turned, burrowing into my body like some living blanket to keep out all the monsters.

To Be Continued….

Sorry, it somehow became dark.

Jeez, emotional scenes are hard, you try to put yourself in a chars shoe's in these situations and things always become exaggerated.

Well next chapter tomorrow night.

Happy 4th of July~!

Kat


	8. Chapter 8: You do what you have to do…

**Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 8: You do what you have to do…**

A few days had gone by and most of the occupants in the castle ignored my room and my presence for the most part, which somewhat amused me. I imagined with all the gossip and seeing their lord so at a loss was something new to them and to ignore the cause would be like ignoring an elephant in a pottery shop. But I let them; I kept quiet and observed everyone and everything. I watched Sesshomaru from a distance and how he interacted with our son and his two other young wards Rin and Kohaku, although Rin and Kohaku were now far from young.

Rin had become quite the beautiful young woman, all hips and breasts; at the age of 13, which she kept well and covered thanks to her adopted sire that seemed to disappear from time to time during the week, returning with gifts of fine clothes, trinkets, food and as of late toys for his son.

Rin dressed finely and seemed to always be busy "training" and from what I saw it was as an ambassador of sorts between youkai and humans. Her presence made Sesshomaru look like less of a monster and so the humans flocked to his territory and with them came commerce and prosperity for his lands. It was nice, and peaceful which made me wonder about Kaede's village, could such a network be set up between all humans and youkai?

Kohaku spent his time training in another manner; he always worked on kata's and hand to hand combat, occasionally training with various weapons. He was like a guard for Rin and the two often seemed a lot closer than they let on. It seemed to look almost one sided from both points of view and I wondered if they two saw the glances the other gave. I don't know how old he was when he was tore from his sister but he was now a man. His body had grown in height and width' boyish shoulders, narrow and bony were now wide and muscular and his scrawny body covered in muscles. It made me wonder what my own son would look like when he grew into his own body at that age.

I imagine he'd be similar to his sire, wiry and muscular in all the right places. Strength and grace joined perfectly.

It was thoughts like those that kept me in the shadows. I was afraid of who I was becoming of what I thought deep inside; if they were my thoughts. It was a constant game of second guessing what thought was mine or my urges brought on by mating marks.

A knock on the door of my quarters brought my out of my thoughts.

"Enter," I called looking towards the entrance as the door creaked open.

"Lord Inu Yasha, Lord Sesshomaru bid me bring this to you, he asks that you wear it to dinner tonight."

I watched her leave the package on my dresser and quickly excuse her self with a bow. I stared at the paper wrapped package a while before walking over and opening it.

I stared down at the brightly colored cloth beneath in curiosity and surprise, A set of new robes, soft as chicks down and as smooth as silk. I then realized it felt somewhat similar to my current fire rat robe. A fire rat Kimono? I stared at it and decided that it wouldn't hurt to try it on. I slid off my clothes leaving only my fundoshi on as I slid on layer after layer until I stood in layer upon layer of colorful cloth, striking shades of the darkest black with the pales of white cherry blossoms bleeding past the palest pinks and into the deepest of crimsons. The Obi was a contrasting gold with white cranes tied with a red and white obijime. I saw that he had even been kind enough to give me tabi socks and geta.

Once I was fully dressed I walked over to my wall and found a full length of reflective glass and found it not nearly as good the mirrors in Kagome's time but it did its purpose. I looked like a doll with dog ears; ears which now stood out incredibly without my long locks to surround them. At least my hair was somewhat styled now thanks to Rin who had been kind enough to layer the back somewhat and trim up the sides.

I turned here and there, looking as I did so and found myself confused by the almost effeminate creature staring back at me. I shrugged it off and was debating about stripping it all off when the door opened and a happy voice called out for me.

"ChiChiue!"

I turned and glanced down at my son who was dressed in a very nice deep blue hakama set.

"Chichiue, you look pretty! Does that mean you'll come have dinner with us?"

I tried not to sigh out loud as I debated inwardly. I shrugged and gave him a small smile; "Sure, let's go eat."

"Yay! Rin! Rin! Chichiue said he's coming to eat with us!"

Ryusei grabbed my hand from underneath the long kimono sleeves and led me into the hallway where Rin stood, slightly surprised; I couldn't tell whether it was because I had said yes or because I was dressed like a doll or perhaps it was both.

She nodded and gave a small smile; "It'll be nice to have you join us, Inu Yasha."

"I suppose moping will only get me so far so lets so how I fit in amongst these castle walls."

She glanced up at me and smiled, reaching out to take both of my hands in hers.

"You need not worry so much, your place is wherever and whatever you would like it to be," and as she said it she hesitated at the end like she were thinking of adding more but thought better of it.

"Come, we'll eat and talk and we'll worry about the rest later. There is nothing but time and you need only let it pass if you so wish."

I walked through the halls; Ryusei's hand in mine as we did so, errant servants stopping and starring, whispering at our backs as we passed. We came to stone stairs that we walked down, winding around until we reached a large hallway. Rin lead the way as we came to a large open doorway and went through it and came into a large room with quite a few large tables, one covered with a white cloth, multiple lit candle sticks and lanterns hanging on the walls and silver platters covering the tables some uncovered revealing an array of food.

I was lead towards the opposite end of where we stood, and there I saw Sesshomaru sitting at the head of the table watching as I approached. His eyes seemed to hold calm calculation and something akin to nervousness, if such a word applied to him.

He stood and walked around pulling out a chair beside him, motioning as he did so. I thought better of it and instead lead Ryusei into that seat and pulled out the one beside him, seating myself and scooting myself in, if he had been irritated by that he didn't show it. As servants set plates in front of us Sesshomaru cleared his throat.

"I am glad that you wore my gift."

How should I answer? So I said what popped into my head; "It makes me look…effeminate, but it is comfortable."

To that I saw him give startled look and then a very small quirk at the corners of his mouth that most wouldn't call a smile but I knew better.

I picked up a small plate and placed a piece of well cooked fish on it and began to eat, I was finished and reaching for some rice when he asked, "Is it good? I asked the cooks to prepare a diet appropriate for one carrying."

I nodded and swallowed a bite of rice, "It's good, for now I have no discrepancies when it comes to food. Give it another week or so and we'll discover what I can and can't keep down."

He gave me a confused look and I took another bite and swallowed before answering, "Not everything is appealing when pregnancy is concerned. I couldn't stand anything with a strong aroma when I was pregnant with Ryusei; garlic, onions, certain pickles and even seaweed sent me running to the nearest bush. Kaede had said that each pregnancy was different…."

After hearing her name I felt my eyes grow hot and I raised my kimono clad arm and wiped away a stray tear.

"Stupid hormones," I muttered knowing it was in vain that they all knew that Kaede had passed on.

"Were you able to sense the gender in the womb?"

I looked up at Rin who sat across the table beside Kohaku.

I thought about it and shook my head no, "I just referred to him as pup when I carried him."

"Can you sense anything from this one," asked Sesshomaru as he looked down at my midsection.

"No, only that it's there and healthy."

He nodded and returned to his meal. The rest of dinner followed with small questions and conversation and as bed time rolled around I excused Ryusei and myself and we went upstairs to change into our sleeping clothes.

I fell asleep with Ryusei snuggled against me and my mind jumbled but not filled with its usual chaos. Dinner had been pleasant and Sesshomaru had shown that he could be calm and relaxed which relaxed. There was no saying whether this could continue or whether something else would go wrong.

I placed the hand that wasn't under Ryusei on my midsection and felt the thrum of energy of the new life growing inside of me and closed my eyes, letting the calmness of it all pull me into sleep.

********************************************************

The month of September ended and October had begun and I had yet to get morning sickness. Sesshomaru watched me wearily and always seemed to be ready to rush at my side and I wondered how much of it was concern for the unborn pup and how much of it was due to our marks which seemed to grow stronger, almost forcing us together with every day that passed.

It was in the middle of the month when he approached me by himself…

"Inu Yasha I would like for you to pick a healer among some that I have gathered. It isn't good for you or the pup to not have check ups."

I stared at him and shrugged; "I suppose I can agree to that."

Three days later I was escorted by Kohaku into one of Sesshomaru's receiving rooms and there I found four strangers. One was an older man who looked lecherous, his head almost bald with tufts of grayish white hair circling that overly large head and his overly large yellow eyes and knowing smirk sent chills down my spine and I immediately voiced my opinion.

"The old man with the creepy vibe goes, now please."

"Dr. Kuntai, you may leave. I thank you for your time and patience and please give Lord Shima my thanks and gratitude as well as thanking him for the alliance of the frog tribe."

The frog tribe; that explained the eyes.

I watched him leave and felt a small amount of relief.

The next was a young man, or so he looked; but his presence screamed of old power. He had crimson hair with black tips and eyes of the deepest orange. He also seemed to keep a serious look about him but his eyes held dislike and hatred. He was a purist and his scent reeked of tiger.

"You can send the kitty cat home as well; I don't like the look in his eyes."

The look of surprise in the orange kitty eyes made me smile and I knew it wasn't friendly, "Why send you and why come if we all know you hate hanyou's? Did you think I'd actually let you touch me or my children with eyes like those?"

Sesshomaru gave me an unfriendly look that said I had not been very tactful and I felt irritation at his look.

"But thank you for coming, have a pleasant trip home and thank your kind ruler for sending you all the way out here," I said with as little sarcasm and irritation in my voice as I could muster.

I turned to look at the other two and was about to ask them to leave when a knock sounded on the door before it opened revealing an older woman with long flowing white hair, her sides braided and pulled back to be tied together with the rest of her unbraided locks. She wore a pale blue kimono with black hakama. Her eyes were a deep shade of ebony which awoke memories deep in my mind.

She smiled wide as she entered looking me over happily before she turned to Sesshomaru; "Thank you for notifying me Lord Sesshomaru."

I blinked and watched as she approached and realized she was older looking. Her face held small wrinkles here and there but her body still held its young mold.

"My name is Aoiyuki and I was your mother's mid-wife. Oh, you definitely have her hair; so thick even with its current length, and her eyes soft and human reflecting thoughts and emotions like ripples on a waters surface and that same glow when carrying."

Her voice was soft and even though she seemed rambunctious her voice was just as calm and happy and soothing as a woman past her prime.

Her hands came to rest on my cheeks and she looked into my own, "Oh, my dear Yasha; the pain these eyes have seen to have such distrust and dislike in them."

She then removed her hands and pulled me into a hug, her hands gently caressing my head, "It will be okay my dear Yasha, I will be here for you, as I was for your mother."

I felt safe in those arms and something about them screamed home, safety and familiarity. I had been in these arms before. I felt her head atop mine closed my eyes.

I lost myself in her comforting arms but still overheard the quiet dismissal of the other two healers and then the quiet closing of the door and then all was silent except for the beating of our hearts. She eventually let go and I looked around finding the office empty.

"Come let us check you over and then I will see to my quarters and then later after dinner the two of us will talk."

And check she did; my pulse, my weight, my measurements, my chest, my back and anywhere I'd let her. Other than Kaede I had never willingly let anyone touch me in intimate places but somehow this woman had chiseled her way into my stone heart and circle of trust.

I discovered that other than being stressed I was pretty healthy and that so far everything was developing well. She guessed my birthing date to be some time in early to mid May.

That night we ate dinner and Aoiyuki entertained my son quite easily and it seemed she felt right at home with everyone but kept her talk with my brother very polite and not really giving him one of her genuine smiles. It made me wonder how much she knew of us and our mating.

To Be Continued….

Tired….and sick….and sleep deprived…. I'm going to try to keep updating and I'm even bringing my laptop to Otakon so I can update there which shows how much I LOVE you guys because I can't even get up enough energy to eat when I work cons.

Well I'm off~!

Oyasumi,

Kat


	9. Chapter 9: And I have the sense to recog

**Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 9: And I have the sense to recognize that…**

November came in whirlwind of activity. I had discovered that my brother's mother had deemed his keep worthy of visiting. I have never met the mother of my brother and part of me wondered if I would enjoy it or find it almost as trying as I found his company at times. Not that he was really doing anything wrong, per se…he just…he was too damn quiet sometimes. I was beginning to think that he had no hobbies and then I realized that I had become his hobby. He watched me when I ate, walked the gardens, played with Ryusei and talked with Aoiyuki.

I suppose I have no room to speak, I watch him just as much. For having had him caress the inner most parts of my body, having carried and delivered his heir and carrying another you'd think we'd have moved past this blushing glances and shy comments but we just can't seem to get to that point. The two of us are certainly a horrible mess. I wondered if his mother was coming to see if she could remedy this situation.

I suppose we needed a push.

Although I suppose I could give him an A for effort. He tried; it was me who seemed to run like a frightened child. I knew it was childish and down right cowardly but some things take a while to get over.

I sat on this fine fall day watching the whirlwind of colors that our son created with his small whip his father had given him, calm commands given from the afore mentioned man who demonstrated with his own whip. Even though our own relationship was faltering father and son seemed to be getting on just fine. It made me proud to see it. Ryusei would have what both Sesshomaru and myself lacked and so would our next child, god willing.

I watched as the energy from Ryusei's whip knocked Sesshomaru's whip from his hand and smiled at Sesshomaru's faked look of shock and bold praise. A proud father if ever there was one.

"ChiChiue!! Did you see, did you?"

I laughed as I watched my son bouncing from foot to foot excitedly and nodded, "Well done, you are certainly growing."

I looked at Sesshomaru and gave a small smile to which he inclined his head.

I watched as Sesshomaru was handed a towel by Jaken and Jaken animatedly tell him of obligations that needed fulfilled and then he walked over to Ryusei and dropped the towel atop his head grinning at Ryusei's muttered curses as he walked with Jaken from the garden. I went down and began my lessons with Ryusei in the garden, lessons on how to use your sense of smell and testing him on what he could sense with his tiny dirt smudged nose. We did this until the sun was nearing its setting and then we made our way to the baths which were warm and waiting. I washed Ryusei's back and he mine. Once we were clean we went into the nice hot baths and lay back relaxing; at least I was. Ryusei was trying to catch air in his rag, his eyes large when he did causing me to chuckle. He commented on how his air bubble reminded him of my now growing belly.

"Hey, you were in there six years ago! Now your sibling is."

He gave me a serious expression which looked too cute on that little face that reminded me of my brother as he crossed his arms; "It'll be seven years come next month."

I laughed and pulled him into a hug, "Yes, yes it will be. What would you like for a gift?"

He puckered his lips and puffed out his cheeks in thought which made me chuckle again, definitely not a look I'd imagine on his sires face.

"Can I have a sword like you and father?"

"We'll see; I'll let him know of your wish." As an after thought, I wondered if Sesshomaru would give a fang to forge such a sword for his son.

He grinned and snuggled against me closing his eyes, his arms squeezing against mine.

I sighed happily and closed my eyes as well. I decided against falling asleep in the baths. Sesshomaru himself had Aoiyuki give me a stern warning against it mostly because hot water was not good for the pup. I gently shook Ryusei waking him up and setting him outside the bath on wobbly feet. I stood up myself and stepped out from the bath and grabbed an overly large towel, drying Ryusei's body and then his growing white locks, now wavy from being wet. I wrapped the towel around his body as I grabbed a towel for myself drying my body off and then my slowly growing but shortened hair and ears before wrapping my towel around myself.

Once we were wrapped warmly in fluffy towels I walked to a stone bench where quiet servants had set out our sleeping wear, a large white yukata for myself and a pale blue one for Ryusei. I watched as Ryusei tried to dress himself, helping only with the obi as he did so. The little one had grown so much and could already tie his fundoshi.

We made our way to our quarters and as I tucked him into my bed beside me. I realized it was time to get him his own quarters. The thought frightened me. My little one had grown so much and was ready to leave my side and without him beside me I had no excuse in the future for turning away Sesshomaru's advances.

I sighed and closed my eyes cuddling against Ryusei, like he was my only lifeline.

********************************************************

Two days later I brought Ryusei's independence to Sesshomaru's attention and he gave a small frown and nodded. It was decided to move my quarters further down the hall next to his room; there was a room that was connected to another by a door. This would become my new Quarters as well as Ryusei's. Ryusei was excited and worried all at once, to help him over his jitters it was decided that we would travel to the town as a family and pick out what he wanted in his new room.

The night it was announced Ryusei was shaking with excitement and couldn't sleep half the night keeping me awake with him with his constant talking and movements. He eventually fell asleep only to have us awoken four hours later as the sun rose to get ready for our journey. I was given yet another new kimono to wear, this one as red as my old fire rat kimono with white carnations weaving their way through the red and around the sleeves with a white and pale blue obi. I dressed myself while a kind maid who I had come to know as Hikaru dressed Ryusei in a deep blue and white hakama set.

Hikaru was a kind and sweet girl no older than two hundred, with deep brown eyes and the fawn brown hair. Ryusei had developed quite the crush on her. I couldn't blame him, she was rather cute. She was from the rabbit tribe and at times when she were flustered, nervous or excited two brown floppy ears would sprout from her head and fluffly brown and white tail from her bottom. Needless to say, Ryusei loved frustrating the poor thing. I believe the boy has an ear fetish. I wonder if it has to do with my own puppy ears.

Once we were ready we made our way to the dining room where we broke our fast with a traditional Japanese breakfast of rice, miso, and smoked and grilled fish. Ryusei picked at his pickles but ate them all the same.

We decided against taking Ah Un for the time being and instead walked from the palace to town, taking the time to give Ryusei his first lessons on branch hopping, Sesshomaru walked beneath us in case Ryusei fell but the boy was as I always said, grace and power in one lithe package. A slip here, a wobble there but not once did he fall. After a few minutes his father joined us and we made it to the outskirts of town in record breaking time, jumping down from our branch road when we caught scent of the humans close by.

It was never good to frighten the locals; it usually ended badly for both sides. I stood back, following slowly behind Sesshomaru as he and Ryusei entered the village. I watched Ryusei as he grabbed his sires hand and led him down the street past the ogling stares of the townsfolk and others among them.

No rude comments were uttered and no sounds of disgust were heard and it surprised me a little. I kept my eyes ahead of me on those two backs; one small and growing the other strong and broad. I watched as Sesshomaru found a carpenter and began telling him of the job he wanted done and while he talked Ryusei stuck to his side listening intently, his hands now at his sides as he tried to act every bit like his sire. It brought a sad smile to my face. I couldn't put the feeling into precise words but it was as if I was watching my little Ryusei vanish right before me. He was becoming his sire's son and less mine to some extent. They would share a bond that I never would. It hurt like no physical wound ever could but when both pairs of eyes looked over at me I grinned and nodded happily.

Once they had arranged for materials and a date to start we went on our way, deciding to stay and walk amidst the townsfolk for a while longer.

I didn't mind, the walk would do me some good and the smell of the village brought back fond memories that plastered a smile on my face. We stopped to partake in some red bean pastries and even bought a few extra for a later snack and once again made our way home.

I found myself withdrawing from them unintentionally and upon reaching home I made my way to my quarters and closed the door. I found myself sliding to the floor as silent tears overtook me.

I brought my knees as close to my chest as I could get them without fearing for my unborn pup's safety. I wiped my eyes and in a frustrated gesture ran my hand through my hair realizing it was still in its sheared form and taking it's time to grow back thanks to the strain on my now overtaxed body ripe with pup. What was more important pup or looks, my body chose the pup as it should.

I made my way over to my vanity and sat down on the stool there gazing at myself in the mirror, dressed in the finest garments with intricate patterns and fine stitching and embroidery looking like some soiled prince with swollen red eyes and swollen belly, my hair shorn like some summer sheep. My bangs had remained the same as they have always been but my sides now outgrew the back and the back was layered thanks to Aoiyuki's attempts to fix my shorn locks.

What A sight I must be. I've had much reassurance that I looked fine but I couldn't help but feel inadequate.

I wiped away more errant tears feeling weary and tired down to my bones. I could fight the exhaustion no more before I finally stood and made my way over to the fireplace.

I sat down on the soft fur rug beside the fireplace and amidst the soft amber glow and warmth of the crackling flames I fell asleep.

To Be Continued….

Sorry, trying to update. I find it hard to sit still in the Fall let alone sit and write.

I'm trying.

Kat


	10. Chapter 10: I don’t know how to let you

**Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 10: I don't know how to let you go**

I found myself awake in my bed with my son curled against me, his head tucked beneath my chin as it had always been since his birth and I snuggled him closer to me and closer to my heart. I found the warmth of quilts and furs pulled over us and turned my head to see the retreating back of what could only be Sesshomaru. I listened to hear the door close and then I closed my eyes once again.

I awoke in the midnight hour and carefully removed myself from Ryusei's grip and slid from my bed. I made my way out of my room looking for the latrine when I happened past a room where hushed angry whispers emanated from.

"So you once again pupped your half brother, Oh Sesshomaru how the mighty have fallen."

"I have not fallen nor have I ever set myself at your standards, mother."

The word mother came out with as much distaste as one would say the cretin or whore or any other such insult.

"How long til the hanyou birth's your ill-gotten spawn?"

"Oh, Mother you needn't plan to stay for the birth the sentiment is well met but unwelcome."

"Oh, son how naïve you are. No, no such a sentiment from me. I'm merely curious as to how long to you plan to string the dear one along. Will he become a mate fully bonded or will he end up like me, used to birth your heirs and locked away to watch you find pleasure in another?"

"It doesn't concern you; it's not like you stayed to watch me grow. No, your pride wasn't worth my needs. So if this is all you've come for then you may take your leave. My home is calm and I prefer it stay that way."

I heard rustling clothing and I stepped away from the door, my hand unconsciously clutching at my belly and the child within.

I turned and made my way away from that room and anywhere near it.

My thoughts were like wildfire. Would he send me farther from him and my children, would he take another while I sat in a room to rot? I couldn't leave, not with my children in this castle and taking them with me would end up a life on the run.

I found myself in the garden barefoot and lost amongst the cool fall breeze among due covered plants.

Would he take me from my children, my now one reason to draw breath or worse…would he turn my children against me and what I am who I am? What does he think of me? Am I hindrance of the means to an end? Am I in his heart or merely a tool to be used to his hearts content? Could I ever ask these things of him, and if so would he actually answer me truly?

My chest felt tightened and my breath labored; almost as if it were stolen. Unshed tears stung my eyes and I felt screams bubbling deep inside me.

And then my breath ridden silence was broken as one of my fears was spoken aloud.

"He'll do it if his heart turns from you," said a voice behind me.

I turned quickly my arms wrapped around my midsection and glared at the woman whose voice gave away as Sesshomaru's mother. Her face like her voice was cold and emotionless and left one to wonder if a smile had ever touched it and if so what hardships had cause them to cease to be.

"Do what," I asked in shock at her presence.

"He'll lock you away like a gem and then when your heart hardens from his actions he'll take your children; the one joy the men of this family can give and then he'll take another to his bed and you'll be forced to listen; to listen to their playful banter, the gossip among the help and then the silence as you sit alone and wonder what went wrong; where you went wrong."

Her words hurt, like the deepest knife wound in my heart.

"By the looks of you I'll give it…four no…five months before the birth of that pup and perhaps another six before he pups you again. I avoided such a problem by taking certain teas. If you're a smart hanyou you'll talk to your dear…Aoiyuki and see if there is one she can make you."

With that she walked past me and then jumped into the air transforming as she did so into a long haired dog demon and took flight into the air. I watched her vanish past moonlight and then found my bladder once again at the forefront of my attention. I found a bush to relieve myself and then made my way back inside. I passed the room where the hushed argument had taken place now found only silence reigned.

I made my way to my quarters and returned to my bed and once again pulled my son to my heart. It had been a while since I have felt heart wrenching fear but at the thought of losing Ryusei and my unborn child I had found it all over again.

* * *

After my late night conversation with Sesshomaru's mother; if one could call it a conversation, I found myself weary of Sesshomaru and those around him. Aoiyuki continued with my regular checkups and asked continuously if I wished to "unburden" my mind and repeatedly I replied that there was no need. She neither believed or discontinued her nagging and I observed her and Sesshomaru in conversation once or twice which now left me at odds with my once source of mental release.

November turned to December and my belly grew ever slightly and according to Aoiyuki not nearly enough. I could agree but what was I to do, my appetite was non-existent and my nerves were a mess and with them many sleepless nights ensued and my health declined. I would often have blackouts which left me bedridden.

Ryusei had has own quarters next to mine but his fear for me kept him at my side. If he was put to bed at the ninth hour, by the tenth he was in my bed curled against my chest and I hadn't the strength mental or physical to refuse him.

I felt Sesshomaru's eyes on me during this time and wondered what went through his mind. Did he worry for me and my health or did he worry for the unborn heir I carried? Did he worry for both? Did he despise me and my uselessness and hate me for my weaknesses and my frail hanyou body or did he worry as to why I had deteriorated and perhaps even blame himself or his actions?

There were nights when we held each others gazes from across the room and it was as though one culture were watching another, trying to figure out the language each spoke and what certain behaviors meant and why they were performed.

We were like foreign lands, he and I.

December was a harsh month which led over into a calm January.

The land remained covered in its glittering white blanket of snow and as the New Year dawned Sesshomaru decided to throw a banquet in honor of the Year to dawn. I found myself drawn into the activities with my sons thrilling stories of rare game caught and plucked to serve as food for the banquet, the many invitations he had seen his father and Jaken send out and of the many beautiful kimono they had seen in the shops and how Sesshomaru had purchased over four servants arms worth of the expensive garments.

It wasn't until the eve of the New Year came did a knock sound on my quarter's door. Before I could answer the door opened and four servants entered carrying various kimonos varying in colors and theme just as Ryusei had told me.

I sat up in bed and watched as Sesshomaru entered behind them already dressed in a kimono of fine red and white silk, embroidered with Dragons in shades of yellow's, oranges, red's and whites with his usual Momoka wrapped around his body and white fur lined collars and sleeves making him look more a snow demon than one of the dog tribe. His hair was brushed and gleaming silver with his bangs pulled back leaving his face free to be viewed and an astonishing site it was. The voice in the back of my head nagged me about how stunningly handsome…no beautiful he was. He was how those in the village described gods from heaven and if he had been from Kagome's time he would have been one of many idols captured in still and moving pictures.

He was desirable no matter who and how you looked at him. I knew that much, it was hard not to. Why, why did he mate me? What was there that he saw that no others could? Is it that I can give him pure blooded heirs?

I would have pondered this more but he spoke, his voice smooth like the silk that adorned him.

"It is time for you to venture out and about Ototou. I have gathered a collection of kimono, pick the one that pleases you and come be at my side. I wish to have your presence with me on this night, in the hopes that I will have it in the New Year as well."

I felt my eyes widen and my jaw slacken. I couldn't think of a reply, I simply nodded and watched as he turned and left me there with four sets of kimono and two servants to assist in the applying of whichever I chose.

I stood shakily causing my pup to shift inside, wiggling inside its watery room. Just recently had my unborn begun to move inside me, nothing visible as of yet and no feeling from the outside which seemed a disappointment to his sire. He would have loved Ryusei's carrying months. The boy did nothing but kicks and move to the point of pain and discomfort.

I sighed and stared at the 4 kimonos placed before me. The first was a piece in the palest shade of jade green with a rich crimson under robe and pattern of white, crimson, silver and gold flowers flowing among the jade green, a crimson and gold obi seemed to match the flowers in coloring. The second was a kimono set in the darkest black at the bottom and grew into a golden river which then changed into the deep red of the setting sun while flowers and carp dominated the gold river and crimson. The obi was a deep gold with maple leaves littering it in fine detail while the under robe of pure white only enhanced the brighter colors of the outer kimono. The third kimono was a deep golden yellow offset with a pale yellow under robe and a deep orange and silver obi with the theme of phoenixes. The last and final robe was the darkest shade of navy blue at the bottom and lightened as it continued upward until it became a pale light blue with many pale white blossoms falling from top to bottom among the shade of blue. The obi was the palest blue that reminded me of Sesshomaru's hair in the moonlight with hints of silver stars stitched into it and a darker burgundy over it and tied with a gold string. The under robe was a clean white.

I turned away the green one and watched as one of the servants took it away and placed it into a bamboo basket, placing it into my closet after placing on the lid. I looked at the other three and found my decision hard.

"What color is Lord Sesshomaru wearing," I asked the servant who continued standing and waiting patiently for my decision.

"When last I saw him, my lord was wearing a deep crimson and ebony."

"Then let's get rid of the crimson, red and black one," I said and watched as what I was asked was done in the same manner as the jade kimono.

I stood there debating at the last two when one of the servants softly cleared her throat. I looked at her questioningly and show blushed a soft pink.

"Might I make a suggestion, sire?"

"Go ahead," I said with a shrug of my shoulders.

"I suggest the golden one. The blue is beautiful but tonight the lord is dressed like night and beside him you could be day."

I nodded, "The gold one it is."

It took a little over an hour to dress in the kimono and to have my hair assembled in a manner befitting a lord as the blushing maid had so kindly put it. She also mourned the loss of my long locks but commented on his quickly it was beginning to grow out.

This maid servant was innocent and shy and a bit overly talkative and it wasn't until she turned around to fetch a hairpin from my dresser that I saw the long orange tails with white tips, A fox demon and one of higher class judging by the number of tails.

"What's your name, kid?"

"Reika, sire," she replied as she placed a gold and white lily hairpin in the right side of my head, little rivulets of pearls cascading through my hair.

I nodded and stood up, giving myself a quick once over in the mirror of my dresser before I began making my way to the door, "Here goes nothing."

I made my way down the hall and then the stairs until I found myself in a large room filled with the sound of traditional koto harps and flutes, talking and the clatter of feet on the ground. I passed by many not stopping to greet instead searching the room until I found my son who once again was adorned in robes the deep shade of midnight blue offset by pale whites and accompanied this time by yellows and gold's.

He looked my way and bowed to the guests he had been talking with before making his way to my side. He took my right hand and smiled brightly up at me as he led me through the room stopping here and there showing me people, clothes, foods and gifts brought to Sesshomaru, congratulating him on his mate, pup and the next one due. I took it all in at a slow pace, glad to have my Ryusei at my side.

The night wore on and as Sesshomaru made his way through the room thanking many for gifts and alliances and talking about whatever it was he talked about I sat and ate until I could eat no more and my body felt exhausted from merely being amidst the crowd.

"Shall I escort you upstairs ChiChiue," asked Ryusei at my side.

I looked across the room and found Sesshomaru still engrossed in conversation and stood adjusting my kimono. He had not once made his way over to give a welcoming comment nor ask how I was and I found myself angry and annoyed and at the same time depressed and saddened by his lack of attention. I let the conflict tug at my heart for a moment more before I nodded down at Ryusei.

"Yes, it's probably for the best."

It didn't take long to arrive at my quarters and as I sat on my bed I felt Ryusei's hand squeeze my own. I looked up and found his eyes deepened in worry.

I smiled and brought my hands up to his face, his hand still clasped in one, "You're too young to have that look. Go downstairs and enjoy yourself until your sire says otherwise. Show them what a fine catch you are. Go be young."

He gave me a worried frown and he closed his eyes as I pulled his head close so that I could kiss his forehead, "Go", I said with a smile.

He left and I lay down in all my finery and closed my eyes fighting back errant tears. I would make sure that he fit into this world even if I myself felt alienated.

Sesshomaru's mother's words echoed through my mind, "locked away to birth pups while he takes another to his bed". I let my errant tears zap what energy I had left as I fell asleep.

To be continued…..

Sorry it took so long. I'm going to keep writing so please keep reading.

Kat


	11. Chapter 11: Every Moment Marked

**Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 11: Every Moment Marked**

After New Years the servants were overly kind in their attentions to me and many talked aloud as they worked about New Years tryst's and loving words spoken by one lord or another.

I listened intently to their stories whispered while they worked in my quarters and in the halls. Stories of stolen touches, passionate kisses and stories of the actual act that made it seem so…much more than I had ever experienced with Sesshomaru. It seemed so surreal to hear them speak of the act of making pups as pleasurable and heavenly let alone the fact that they yearned for more. The very idea filled my mind with unanswered questions. What made the act pleasurable? Could it be pleasurable for everyone? Was it only painful for male couples?

I had myself experienced much pleasure coupling with Kagome and she herself had let me know that she found our coupling as pleasurable; she intentionally sought me out just for the act itself a few times. I wondered if there was a way that I could find pleasure in being the uke of this relationship.

I spent most of my free time in the library researching and reading. I pulled four or five books of various types and when no one was around I'd pull what I could find in the vast shelves that had anything that contained anything sexual or reproduction wise and hid it amidst my other selections. I made sure to read these when alone, usually at warm candlelight under the cover of night.

I found myself engrossed in a new mission of sorts and stayed up til dawn lost in words describing the act between male and female, frustrated with my search and exhausted during the day to the point of falling asleep while dining on lunch at the dining table in front of Sesshomaru.

This brought more questions from Aoiyuki about my health and I answered her as best I could, saying merely that I had been lost in my reading, finding a quiet solace in the stories I read. Sesshomaru began checking on me every night at midnight, making sure I was in bed, worried I would become sick or worse lose the pup because of my stupidity. I appeased him in this, worried for my unborn pups health as well.

I found my search a losing battle until half of February had gone by. I had finally found what I had been searching for. Not so…much a book but a gathering of notes from a journal written by some demon named Rokushoji who at one time been a provincial lord in these parts under one of my ancestors. What I found was vivid descriptions of his mate and not just his mate but his male mate. I suppose Rokushoji thought himself a poet. Everything about his mate and their trysts was usually compared to acts of nature and never once had he said anything indecent about his mate or their couplings.

After reading his descriptions I found myself with more questions than before.

I set aside my sexual curiosity as March drew near and my pup grew much too large for its current home. It kicked and stretched and moved a great deal and at these times I tried to calm it with soft talks and placing my hands on my belly rubbing it soothingly. Sesshomaru watched from a distance, occasionally taking the initiative and placing his hand on my belly feeling the movement of his pup. I allowed this with as little irritation on my face as possible. I found myself proud of not throwing "tantrums" as they had been called. I don't know when expressing myself or my feelings became tantrums but that was what Sesshomaru had called them. When this pup was ready to enter this world he was in for the largest tantrum he would ever see I was betting on it.

Ryusei also took a great deal of pleasure in his soon to arrive siblings antics. He talked about playing with his new sibling and teaching him what he himself had learned from his father. I couldn't help but be proud of Ryusei, he had grown so…much. It was hard to believe he would soon be seven.

April came in a flurry of falling cherry blossoms that blanketed the castle courtyard in a soft blush colored blanket. I found myself relieved with their arrival since I was overly large with pup and more than ready to have it enter this world quickly and with good health. It felt as though everyone was looking my way constantly and I found them stifling. I missed the comfort of my first pregnancy experience. The calm and restraint everyone showed, the soft laughter of Sango and Miroku's children's voices along with Shippo's and the comfort Kaede offered just by being there, her experience and confidence a giant stress reliever with no trying on her part.

I ignored the stares and well meant advice and kicked off my tabi and enjoyed the feel of the petals and cool spring air on my overly pampered feet and toes. I felt the breeze blow my wisps of hair freely around my face and found it refreshing.

"Chichiue! Why are you barefooted?"

I looked across the courtyard and found Ryusei approaching with his father in tow. I had a feeling this wasn't going to end well. They came closer and the tell toe wrinkle could be seen between Sesshomaru's eyebrows letting me know he was irritated or angry.

He could take his anger and shove it up his ass. This was my one respite as of late and I'd be damned if I let him take it away from me on this day.

Ryusei approached and smiled brightly, "Are the petals soft" he asked innocently.

"Quite, like a well worn silk kimono," I said with a wink.

"Come inside, Inu Yasha."

It was said with what I sounded like a calm manner but I heard the storm brewing in his words. He had a thunder of reprimands waiting for me.

"When I am done," and I managed to say it was a soft tone and closed my eyes feel the pleasantly warm rays of the sun to warm my face.

"I'd prefer now."

"And I'd prefer a lot of things but we don't always get what we prefer. So I ask you let me have my moment of calm so that I can smile when I re-enter the stagnant air of our home."

It felt like my voice had been forced from someone else mouth. I could feel the emotions I had buried for long emerge with that short comment and I had a feeling his reply wouldn't be good.

I had defied him and I had defied him in front of our son who was used to seeing his sire get his way.

"Ryusei, go inside."

At that I opened my eyes and felt my calm atmosphere vanish. I turned just my head to look at him as he stared at our son.

"Are you afraid he'll see what he saw when you first drug me here? Afraid to let him see you hit his carrying ChiChiue? If it can't be done in front of him then it is best you not do it."

My calm had vanished and any rest I had gotten from it replaced with anxiety and stress. Anger bubbled to the surface and rage and I felt my face twist with it.

He looked at me and walked towards me and I bent my knees and jumped as high as my legs would allow, finding a branch to land on the nearest cherry tree.

"This is not wise, Inu Yasha."

"Then give me my respite just once and all will be well."

He jumped into the air and jumped at the end of my branch and I stepped back, my back hitting the trunk of the tree. I watched as he approached feeling trapped and did as instinct demanded; jumped, landing on the next branch. I did this on two more branches, landing oddly on the last one causing my ankle to twist. It throbbed with pain and I struggled to keep my balance and still he pursued me. I looked for a way down, afraid to do much more jumping in my state, afraid for mine and my pups' safety. Sesshomaru didn't give me much of a chance as he jumped down in front of me, I panicked and jumped on branch down bring me closer to the ground.

I was only a little over six feet from the ground and I could make it safely to the ground from here. The branch I stood on was still young and flimsy so I readied myself, careful of my aching as I did so. The branch shook, shaking me, throwing off my balance. I looked up and saw Sesshomaru and looked down to see the ground just as a loud crack sounded. I was in mid jump when it gave way and I felt myself falling. I felt my body hit the ground and the air left my lungs. Branches and petals fell around me as I fought to catch my breath and no sooner had I caught that I felt an excruciating cramp. I fought to sit up and saw why I had felt that cramp.

I had landed flat on my face, my belly and unborn pup taking the brunt of my fall.

I rolled onto my side and took in a few gulps of air as I saw Sesshomaru's feet I screamed as the cramp became a stabbing pain unlike any I had felt before. As if I was being cut from the inside out. All sound was drowned out as my heartbeat and breaths thrummed loudly.

I curled in on myself praying I had not killed my pup. I felt someone lift my body and the world rocked by colors mixing, making me ill. The pain continued and I felt my body lowered onto a soft surface. Hands forced me to uncurl and the pain grew and then I felt liquid pour down my thighs.

"No…no no no….," I felt myself sobbing out.

I had broken my waters. I had killed my pup. I now had to deliver a dead pup.

"Calm yourself, Inu Yasha," I heard Aoiyuki's voice and then saw her face.

I felt her hands on my face and heard her bark out orders and then the pain intensified. I had started having contractions, contractions unlike anything I had felt when birthing Ryusei, sharp and intense and laced with stinging and unrelenting pinching. I tried to concentrate on what was going around me but failed miserably, each pain numbing my thoughts, leaving only thoughts of my dead pup and fear of my own death in its wake.

Hands found their way into my now barely clothed body and I felt them searching and then I felt them stretching me, and screams tore from my throat. I felt that almost familiar pressure and knew it to be my pup at my entrance.

Hands cupped my face and forced me to focus, "I need you to listen Inu Yasha, and you have to push, no matter how much it hurts. Understand?"

I nodded weakly, "I'll have both your lives saved when this is all over with. Just push when I say."

I felt hands on my body again and the stabbing pain returned and she yelled to push and I did, as hard as I could, feeling my insides stretch and tear as I did so.

"Good, you can do it! Keep going."

I pushed until I felt light headed and when she gave me a rest I lay back and stared up at the ceiling. It somehow looked brighter than before.

"Don't you leave me! Get yourself together and push Inu Yasha!"

The pain worsened and forced myself up and began to push with any and all strength. I did this at every command until the room began spinning. I felt my pups head pass and fell back as the world around me hazed and darkened. I closed my eyes and let the darkness pull me in as the pain all but disappeared.

Something yanked me back. I felt my eyes forced open and my head rolled to the side where I watched Aoiyuki blowing into the open mouth of a blood covered newborn, much too small to have come from me. I went to close my eyes again and felt a sharp smack to my right cheek. I worked to keep my eyes open and saw Sesshomaru standing above me. I felt adrift in my own body. I couldn't feel much, a dull throb between my legs let me know I could still feel somewhat.

I closed my eyes and felt hands cupping my face and squeezing so that I was looking once again into Sesshomaru's face.

"Leave me………be………"

"NO!"

It was gruff and left no room for argument but I was always one to pull his strings.

I felt drained and exhausted and I just wanted to sleep. I closed my eyes again and felt myself fall into the comfort that was nothingness and just as silence was taking over I heard a cry. Not just a cry, but the wail of a baby and then there was nothing.

To be continued….

Yeah…a little depressing but then again I have found myself addicted to the Yoshida Brothers and the song "Cherry Blossoms in Winter" seems appropriate for this scene. If you haven't heard of the Yoshida Brother's, they're traditional Shamisen players, you can see them in the Nintendo Wii commercials and you can see them live at Otakon this year. Check em' out on Youtube as well.

Well gotta go. I'd like to start on Chapter 12.

OH and this story now has its own banner on forever fandom dot net~!

Kat


	12. Chapter 12: With Apparitions of Your Sou

**Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 12: With Apparitions of Your Soul**

I found myself in a quiet calm and warm place. I felt hands on my legs moving and bending them, as if afraid I would never be able to move them again. I felt the same set of hands work on one arm and then the next and I couldn't help but feel annoyed and I moaned to let the individual know my displeasure. The movement stopped and then I felt those hands on my face and blinding light entered my right and then my left eye. I moaned again and then it stopped.

I was left to my warm sanctuary once again.

I felt the same thing once again and as I felt the bending and stretching of my legs a constant chattering had ensued. I couldn't follow much of what was being said but my limbs twitched and I tried to stop the constant massaging of my arms, hands and fingers by squeezing the hand that massaged mine.

I was eventually left alone.

This continued within an extended period of time until finally I fought to open my eyes. Light, blindingly white stung my eyes causing them to water and I closed them only to open them and blink repeatedly. At this I heard much noise and then a blurred face appeared above mine. I saw the blurred white outline and two blue orbs and then closed my eyes. It was much later amidst the familiar chatter that I felt a dampness move across my eyes and face and I opened them again to stare up at the slightly less blurry face of an older demoness with deep ebony eyes and long flowing white hair with her sides in a pair of braids.

My mind fought to put a name to that face and then as she gave a small smile it came, Aoiyuki.

I found myself awake at last and I fought to move my head in order to look around and found it difficult. I could tell that I was still in my quarters and I saw that nothing had really changed. I worked to sit up and found it just as difficult if not more so. Everything seemed to work, it was like trying to move a marionette. I was a stranger in my own body.

I sat there and took everything in slowly, glancing around my quarters, turning my head until my neck no longer felt stiff and even getting it to crack once or twice. I focused on my fingers, hands and arms next until they too were once again movable. Aoiyuki sat back and watched quietly observing or waiting in case I needed her assistance. I licked my lips and found them dry and slightly cracked and tasting like fresh bee's wax. The thought caused my stomach to growl.

I saw a glass of water on my nightstand and no sooner had I thought of reaching for the enticing clear liquid than I found the glass in my hand and a very doting Aoiyuki now at my bedside. I lifted the glass to my lips and drank slowly, wetting my parched throat. I cleared my throat once and then twice before attempting to speak.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Sleep isn't what you were doing; it was as if your body had put you into a coma. Lord Sesshomaru said he had seen you like that once before but this time it was without a spell," she replied while watching me.

Without a spell…Oh, Kikyo's arrow, the tree…but how…?

My hands wrapped around my body and found that it was easier than previously. It was then I realized and everything began to fall into place. I looked down at my belly and found it flat, upon opening my robe I found my belly now renewed and without its previous stretch marks.

"How long," I asked again, feeling nervous.

"A little over six months."

I felt my breath catch and I forced my legs over the edge of the bed, ignoring the pins and needles and forcing myself into a standing position, wobbling as I did so. I stood beside my bed until my feet felt steady and made my way to the mirror atop my dresser.

Upon looking into it I saw myself and I almost looked to be who I was before I had birthed Ryusei. My hair had grown to its original length. I shook my head and turned to look at Aoiyuki.

"My pup…did it….live," I asked feeling my throat constrict.

"Yes, you delivered a healthy baby girl. Lord Sesshomaru has named her Chiouka, Chi for blood and Ouka for cherry blossom. He thought it a good name."

I couldn't help but cry aloud. My pup had survived and it was a daughter. Chiouka, a beautiful name. I had to see her.

"I will call for a tub to be brought up. Bathe and get dressed and then I will take you to see your daughter."

I nodded and sat on the edge of my bed. It hadn't taken long for the tub to be brought up and my usual servants came to fill it with hot water, stopping to bow in my direction and offer sincere greetings and congratulations on returning to "the world of the living".

Had I died? If I had, had Sesshomaru brought me back to life?

I shook the dismal thoughts from my head for the time being and tried to think about my daughter. Who did she take after? What color was her hair? Did she have my eyes? I continued to let the questions fill my head as I watched bucket after bucket of hot water enter the tub.

Once the tub was filled I watched as Reika filled the tub with tuberose petals and a bit of dried tangerine and lemon peels.

"The tuberose is your usual scent but the tangerine and lemon will revitalize you. Wouldn't want our Lord to fall asleep again."

I smiled and watched as she set stool by the tub as well as a foot stool which she piled with soaps, towels and rags.

I watched her leave and made my way over. I stripped the worn sleeping robe from my body and slowly lowered myself into the warm steaming and fragrant waters and allowed my weary muscles a respite from their aches. I laid there until my water became luke warm and then I dunked my head, wetting my once again long locks. I used the soaps and rags and scrubbed every part of my body, toes to nose before soaping up my hair and using a special soap which was very similar to Kagome's "conditioner". I rinsed my hair and grabbed a towel, patting myself dry before I grabbed another and wrapped it around my body. I grabbed the last towel and wrapped it around my head and hair before exiting the tub.

Atop my bed lay two sets of kimono. One was a simple set of golden yellow, pale yellow, bright orange and red with maple leaves done in gold and silver threading. The second was a deep red, white, pale pink and palest orange with phoenix's adorning it in multicolored stitching. I opted for yellow, finding it a calmer and more invigorating color. Judging by the kimono colors and counting back I could safely say that it was once again Fall. I had missed the end of Spring and all of Summer.

I couldn't help but wonder what my son and now daughter had learned and done in that time. Six months had once seemed a drop in the bucket but now it felt like an eternity had passed while I lay in my dark world.

Reika returned to my side once again and roused me from my gloomy thoughts which I more than appreciated as well as her help in putting on the kimono and its many layers, my recovering limbs not much on intricate knots and tying this day.

When we were done I sat and watched as Reika pulled my long locks away from my face, looping my sides and letting them stay beside my face the rest she put into intricate loops and left the rest free flowing down my back.

"I'm beginning to enjoy having others do my hair," I said as I saw the final result.

"I heard that Lord Sesshomaru does as well but you didn't hear it from me," she said with a wink.

I stood and followed her outside of my bedroom and into my quarters where I saw my son. He had grown so…much, my son who was now eight. He saw me and his face lit up.

"ChiChiue!"

He launched himself and I caught him, his arms nearly wrapped around me and his head came almost to my chest.

"Ryusei…"

I wrapped my arms around him and bent to place a kiss atop his head.

"I missed you, ChiChiue. I talk to Chiouka all the time and I tell her all about you."

My eyes teared up and I wiped them quickly before squeezing my son tightly.

"Come ChiChiue, I'll take you to see her. She is with Rin-neechan."

"Rin," I asked clearly confused.

"Yes, because you were asleep we had to find her a nursemaid and Rin who just birthed her own son just two months after to Chiouka's birth had begun producing milk in her seventh month and had no qualms sharing it with Chiouka," answered Aoiyuki as she entered.

I nodded and even though everything said made perfect sense it still left unease in my heart and mind. It was also then that it had occurred to me that I would still not be able to tend and care for my daughters' nutritional needs since my milk had dried up while I was in my world of darkness.

I sucked up the urge to sulk and instead put on a brave face, ready to see my daughter.

I was lead by the hand by my son who followed behind Aoiyuki. We left the hallway in which my quarters were and made our way down the stairs and past many surprised guards and servants who looked as though they had seen the walking dead, then again I was up and about after six months of deep sleep so I suppose to them I had been dead. In Kagome's time it was not so unusual for one to wake up weeks, months or even years later but here I was betting most were buried alive.

I was brought out of my thoughts when we reached the opposite end of the castle. An area where guests were often roomed and where Rin's quarters had been moved after she and Kohaku had become a mated pair, as Sesshomaru had put it.

Aoiyuki knocked on the door and it took only a moment for the door to open revealing Kohaku who gave a small bow in our direction.

"Come in, Rin just finished nursing Chiouka and Hotaru. Give her a moment to change them and she'll be out."

I nodded dumbly not really hearing the reply that Aoiyuki made nor the rest of their conversation for in that small space of time Rin entered the room, an infant balanced in each arm. I saw that the small child that Rin had been was no more and what stood before me was a doting mother. She was pretty and motherhood seemed to suit her. I probably could have noted more things about her change from child to adult but the children in her arms now had my undivided attention.

In her right arm was a boy child with short tuffs of ebony hair and the deepest brown eyes. His pudgy hands clung to Rin's kimono as she walked closer. He had to be Hotaru, Rin and Kohaku's son.

The other child was no doubt my daughter. She was a site that stole my breath just like Ryusei had when he was born. She had the most beautiful moonlight blue tufts of hair and eyes the color of the harvest moon, too gold to be yellow and too yellow to be considered amber. Her skin was like marble which caused her developing demon marks to stand out along her eye lids. The tell tale moon of her sire absent from her forehead at this time.

She looked at me and then at Rin and then at me. When Rin held her towards me I didn't hesitate in taking her into my arms. I inhaled deeply smelling that smell that only infants had. She was my daughter, my second child who I had almost lost.

I held her close and nuzzled her hair and she seemed to do the same. I moved to sit atop a pillow in the corner of the room staring in her amazing eyes as I did so. She stared back and as I sat we blocked out the others around us, lost in our silent conversation.

I sat with her in my lap and I gently caressed her soft milky tresses and tickled her by touching her pointed ears, causing her to giggle which was in itself a beautiful sound. I was disappointed to see that her eyes resembled her fathers, there would be no doubt who her sire was, and she was female version of him and reminded me of his mother who had confronted me months prior to her birth.

She leaned forward and patted my cheeks before tugging playfully on hair, her fists wrapped in it. She tugged until I leaned down further to prevent hair loss and it was then that I realized her real target as I felt a sharp pain atop my head. My ears, the little minx seemed entranced by them and after the initial pain causing tug she seemed just as pleased to pet and touch them which I preferred to the tugs she had given earlier.

Eventually she let go and I set her on the floor and watched as she rolled over onto her knees and proceeded to crawl around the room giggling as Ryusei began a game of keep away with himself as the prize.

I engrossed myself in them, not noticing the sudden change in atmosphere or the figure standing behind me.

"She's quite a handful," was spoke aloud causing me to jump up onto my knees.

There he stood, looking the same as he always had. Just as arrogant and emotionless as I remembered.

"I see you have recovered fully Inu Yasha."

I stood up and moved back from him and closer to my children who had stopped playing.

"I wouldn't say fully but I am awake."

He stared at me like he was assessing prey and then looked back up and into my eyes.

"Well since you're awake I think it best this be said while the incident is still fresh in your mind."

He paused and I had a feeling that he was going to say and do something stupid if he hadn't already.

"You are to remain inside the castle grounds at all times. I have informed all guards and servants of this as well. When you carry again you will be limited to the castle only. We will NOT have a repeat of last time."

His eyes narrowed and I felt an invisible noose tighten around my neck as I fought to breath, all breaths caught in my chest after his announcement.

He took a step towards me and I stepped back. His eyes widened momentarily and then returned to normal. I don't know what he saw in my face but I could feel the raging emotions running rampant and I was not keeping them concealed on my face.

I locked them down and stopped the painful need to scream and carry on and instead gave him the same dead look he always gave me. Conserve my energy. I would make sure this would not be the last time this subject was brought up, but for now I would let it be. I didn't plan on leaving the castle anytime soon but that didn't mean I hadn't thought about it.

If he thought I was going to carry again he had lost his mind, especially if he thought I would be carrying his again, let alone have to bare his touch again.

I felt a hand wrap around mine and saw Sesshomaru look down and then back up at me. He turned and left the room and I could feel the shaking of my knees and hear the pounding of my heart. I fell to my knees and grabbed Chiouka from where she crawled beside me, holding her against me. I don't know how long I sat there, only that Rin removed my crying daughter from my grasp and Aoiyuki helped me to stand. I was lead from Rin's quarters and back to my own, my sons hand in my grasp until I was led to my bed.

"Ryusei, go and play. Your father will be fine, I promise."

I watched as he left and felt my breath catch. I was alone….

I was in a castle of fools led by a tyrant and I was alone. All of the people in this castle were loyal to that monster aside from my children and as Ryusei left I felt my composure slip and the tears ran freely down my cheeks.

"Calm yourself Yasha. Do not let what Sesshomaru said hurt you so. He is a fool we all know this but he will relent. You must not let him get to you."

I looked up into her ebony eyes and laughed, although it sounded too harsh to call it laughter.

"He employs you, it is your job to pacify me and he will keep me locked in here as his whore and pup factory. He will turn my pups against me and I will forever be the fool. The talk alone will set my ears on fire. He is Lord Sesshomaru's whore! He makes pure blood babes! He is the Lord's fuck toy and nothing else. He will make me into something I'm not."

Her hands pulled me against her chest and she began petting my head, "He can only do that if you let him."

"But he'll find a way. It will be as his mother said. I will be fucked and pupped and then he will leave me to be with another and I will be left behind to watch."

As I said it the words from my conversation with Sesshomaru's mother came back to me and I stopped my sobbing. I looked into Aoiyuki's eyes and felt mine become a void of emptiness.

"Can you remove the organ that creates pups?"

She pulled away from me and looked down at me with sadness in her eyes, "Not without killing you and I won't let those pups grow up without their birth sire."

"Sesshomaru's mother mentioned a tea….can you make it?"

"A tea, I know it to work on females…I don't know of anyone who's prescribed it for males but we could try."

I felt a small hope return at that one sentence.

If I could persuade him I couldn't carry then perhaps he would let me be.

Perhaps….

To be continued….

Still addicted to Yoshida Brothers.

This story seems to be the Yin to Cornerstones Yang. In this story I have made Sesshomaru out to be a bastard but I don't consider him one and I am not intentionally trying to make him a bad guy. He will eventually realize his faults but it will take a lot to get him there.

Kat


	13. Chapter 13: I’m ever swiftly moving

**Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 13: I'm ever swiftly moving**

The world around me felt surreal and unnatural as I once again watched leaves coloring before tumbling to the ground, another fall upon us and a summer vanished before I had the chance to witness and enjoy it.

That wasn't the only reason my world had a feeling of up becoming down, I had become a prisoner in my brothers home and my servants had now become unaware jailors and spies.

Yes, I say unaware because they were drilled incessantly as to how my behavior and mood was. They talked about how he "doted" on me and how he was such a great mate while inside I was dying and wishing awful things on him. I wanted no part of him or his possessions which seemed to accumulate in my room as he continued to send kimono, hair pins and scented oils at least once a week if not more.

I ignored them and had continued wearing the old kimono's I had worn previously and amused myself by giving away the hair pins and other hair pieces to my servants who seemed to take more joy in them than I ever would.

I rarely left my quarters and if I did it was to make my way to either Rin's quarters or to a designated play area set aside for my pups as well as Rin's. It was in these places in the company of my pups that I found my respite from Sesshomaru and his rules. My pups grew by leaps and bounds ever intriguing me and occupying my waking and dreaming thoughts.

Chiouka had begun to stand, taking steps here and there. She tried hard to follow her brother and seemed almost angry when she couldn't. She grew fond of me but still clung to Rin and there was nothing I could do or say that would change it. Rin had been mother and nurse to her for six months while I had been in my coma, I smiled and bore it with as much calm and grace as one in my position could.

I decided not to sit back and idly wait for Sesshomaru to once again fill me with his seed, which in turn would be another pup. Aoiyuki had fulfilled my one and only favor I had asked of her; she had brewed me my tea. A tea that would hopefully prevent me from carrying anymore pups. I drank my tea diligently once a day and at least once a day Sesshomaru would find me in my sanctuaries and when he did he would either sit back in a corner or watch me interact with my pups or quietly converse with someone else in the room. He left me alone, not really speaking to me or of me while in my presence, this left me nervous and anticipating his moves and actions.

It seemed like a dangerous dance the two of us. He padded gently around me while I quickly dodged and avoided him. A sad pair of partners we were, never touching, speaking or direct eye contact, always apart. It probably wouldn't have looked so odd to others who hadn't known us, they would have thought us prudish or private but when you saw Rin and Kohaku we stood out like sore thumbs. Where we dodged touches, they went out of their way to make physical contact of any kind. Where we avoided looking directly into each others eyes, theirs never seemed to look elsewhere. We never spoke, not even a whisper and they seemed to hang on each word, whisper or sound that escaped from each others lips.

I found myself hating them, just a little.

When the first snow fell and covered the ground I found the signs of my beginning heat upon me.

My body constantly hot and aching, my sensitivity heightened and my emotions all over the place. I continued taking the tea in the hopes that it would keep me from carrying, knowing that I would soon produce pheromones letting everyone, including Sesshomaru, know that I would was ready to conceive. I couldn't stop myself from panicking every time he passed me in the hall and my eating habits had all but stopped as I found my nerves too much of a wreck to try holding food in my stomach.

It was on the second day of my heat induced fast that he approached me in the hall. His aura was the same as it had been the first time, emanating dominance and power. He leaned over me at the dinner table, close enough that his hot breath tickled my ear causing goose bumps to rise along my arms.

"Do not bring Ryusei or Chiouka to your room tonight."

With that he stood and walked away. I watched him go and felt my empty stomach do flips as nausea took over. I sat in my dinner seat until the table had been cleared and most of its occupants had vanished to their own quarters. I watched my children leave, Rin taking Ryusei's hand and leading him from the dining room and felt my eyes grow hot as he turned around to look at me as he was led from the room.

I lifted my hand and waved to him, plastering a smile on my face. I sat there until I could no longer see him or his worried face and then I stood up. It would be of no use to ignore what I was told or to run and throwing a fit would only lead to more harm than good.

So with a heavy heart I made my way to my quarters. I found them empty but also found that my room had been set up to welcome more than just me on this night. The fires had been lit in the fireplaces; one in my room and one in my sitting area. My bed had been made as usual but I also found my basin water warm and filled with citrus oils and lavender petals. I looked at myself in the mirror and found someone I didn't recognize. I was pale and thin and my face showed an emotion that I knew wasn't often displayed on the face of the old me, although describing was a task I didn't want or care to do.

I turned away from the mirror and took a warmed rag from my dressing table and dipped it into the oil warmed water before wiping it across my face, neck, arms and hands; dipping twice more before finishing my task. Once I found myself suitably clean I turned to my window which had an inside ledge and perched myself upon on it, looking out across the courtyard which was once again snow covered. I felt a slight thought of madness cross my mind at having to live this scene over again, at having him touch me again.

Deep inside I hoped that I could lay there and let him take his pleasure. If I were a good little uke he could do as he likes, finish and leave, just like he had the two other times. If I were still and appeared to be willing then perhaps this time would be different. I wasn't expecting anything like what I had heard the servants whisper of but I could at least expect a bit more civility.

I heard the door open and felt his presence in the door way. He seemed larger than he was and it wasn't helped by the odor of musk that wafted off of him. He was aroused…and I suppose I should have found that a surprise or offensive but I was no longer an innocent moron. I knew that he had found me attractive and my body a source or pleasure.

I felt him come to a stop behind me and felt his hand on my shoulder.

"Move to the bed."

The door closed and soft footsteps slowly vanished as the sound of a second door closing could be heard.

I stood and turned to find myself face to chest, a large kimono clad chest. I quickly looked down, afraid to show him my face for fear of what he would see on it.

As I stood there his hands wandered over my body, stopping at my outer kimono robe, untying the sash and the obi. I heard them slip and fall to the floor, a sound that only satin or silk could make echoing in my mind as he slid my kimono from body and let it join the other bits of cloth on the floor.

I felt his hands in my hair, which had all but my bangs, been pulled up atop my head in a tucked under pony tail or bun. My face had been exposed and then I felt it cascading over my face, neck and back. I felt his hands roam through it, caressingly and then I felt him pull my body flush against him. I could feel his arousal pressing against my back, just a little above my tail bone. I gasped, shocked.

He tilted my head back, taking advantage of my opened mouth and proceeded to delve his tongue inside my mouth. It was odd and forceful and yet I yelped and tried pry myself from his grasp, which he tightened. One arm wrapped around my midsection, the other holding my neck gently yet forcefully in place as he plundered my mouth.

This continued until I started sliding down his body, my legs giving way from the sensations going through my body and lack of oxygen.

He pulled me by my waist to my bed and lay me on my back. I tried to regain control of my facilities and no sooner had my senses returned that I felt him on me again, this time his hands on my thin under kimono, which soon disappeared.

Flesh to flesh was the next thing I felt as his chest covered mine and his mouth, hands and hair trailed over every part of me that he could get to. I wriggled and gasped and shook my head to and fro. I needed something….

He touched my lower body and it was then that I realized I was aching with need, my neglected manhood standing at attention waiting for his touch. A touch that never came as hands went past my aching member and to my bottom. I felt a digit enter me and then another, stretching me as they entered and retreated repeatedly.

As the entered on this last round they hit something that caused me to arch up, my hips coming completely off the bed. I heard what I thought was a snicker as the torture continued, his fingers now purposely hitting that place until I shamefully released my seed over his and my body.

I lay there gasping for breath waiting for my shaking body to calm but it never had the chance as I felt the hard, hot flesh push into me, so…full and yet not as bad as that first or second time. He didn't waste any time as he proceeded to pound into my now willing body. I don't know how much time passed before I had my second orgasm and he his first but it wasn't enough. No sooner had his knot loosened that he pulled me down so that my legs now rested on his shoulders and his hardening member once again at my entrance.

He entered me again and pounded into me, knotting again as my orgasm hit for a third time. I felt myself pulled down by exhaustion before his knot loosened this time and he fell asleep.

I awoke and found him sitting beside me, a glass of water in his hand. I struggled to sit up, finding myself overly sensitive as I did so, but no pain. I took the glass and drank it before lying back down and falling once again into a dreamless sleep.

I awoke again and this time I awoke on my side, his hard flesh poking at my entrance. I couldn't get words to form before he entered me, another rut beginning.

I don't know how many times we coupled and I can't count how many times I found release nor how much time had passed. My window shades were pulled tight keeping light from seeping in. I know that we had tried positions that I had never even known existed, especially between male couples. On my back, on my sides, on my knees, stomach, arms with my legs in his grasp, on my shoulders with my knees in his grasp and finally once again in missionary position with a force so strong he had actually managed to break the hard wood foundation of my bed.

I fell in and out of sleep between bouts of sexual gratification, never eating, and drinking either water or various teas he offered.

I awoke finding him lying beside me and closed my eyes. Upon opening them again, I found him gone. I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

A knock on the door disturbed any further sleep I would have gotten. I huddled under the covers as the sounds of water splashing became a distant echo, not really sleeping and not really awake.

"Lord Inu Yasha, we've filled your tub sire. Please, bathe while the water remains hot. While you bathe we'll ready a meal."

With that the sound of the door closing echoed throughout my room. Rosehips and lavender permeated my room and I moaned as I made to sit up, my body just now catching up to the activities it had participated in. It hurt in places I hadn't known were there and I felt like one giant bruise. I crawled out from under my cocoon of blankets and stood shakily. A long floor mirror against the far wall showed every purple, black, blue and even some green, brown and yellowing healing bruises that littered my pale body.

I was even more surprised to find hickeys along my neck and chest and other odd places along my torso. I shook my head finding my hair a tangled mess and sticky in parts, with what I didn't want to consider.

I walked my nude, bruised and remnant covered body over to the tub and sat down on a wooden stool set there. I grabbed a rag and dipped it into my bathwater and did a once over until I wasn't as disgusting as I had been before standing up and getting into the nice warm, nice smelling bath water. I slid fully under the water, wetting myself from head to toe. I came back up and grabbed at the soap and scrubbed myself furiously. From head to toe I scrubbed, although a lot more gently than I would have preferred, finding a lot of places far too tender to think about let alone touch.

I soaped and rinsed my hair before I found a nice concoction that I had discovered was a lot like Kagome's conditioner. I slicked my hair with the "conditioner" and let it sit that way until I the water began to chill and then I rinsed it from my long locks. Once it was free from the substance I stood and stepped from the tub, finding myself a bit sturdier.

As I dressed I felt the all too familiar fatigue hit and I made my way swiftly to my now clean bed. I grabbed a clean robe set aside for me by my servants and donned it before collapsing on the bed, the exhaustion pulling me down.

Why, why did this exhaustion seem so..familiar?

My breath caught in my throat as I pushed myself up and grabbed another robe and pulled it on over the first. I all but ran from my quarters past stunned servants and maids. I made my way down the stairs and past staring guards until I came to stand in front of Aoiyuki's quarters. I knocked urgently at the door.

The door opened and upon seeing her face looking not the least bit surprised I felt anger and depression fill every part of my being.

"Come in, Inu Yasha," she said as she stepped back from the door.

I felt myself moving but I couldn't say how or why and when I found myself sitting on a couch with a blanket wrapped around I felt as if I myself were paused while everything continued to move around me. It was quiet as I heard Aoiyuki's movements in her quarters and it took a while for me to form the words and finally make them vocal but I had managed it somehow.

"I'm carrying."

She stopped mid-movement and without turning to face me answered, "I stopped the first morning to drop off your tea and he took it from me. I believe he gave it to you. On the second morning I returned and he accepted the tea again and while I was there he voiced his concerns about your heat. Saying it shouldn't have lasted after your first coupling."

I had been wondering about that myself but I remained quiet as she continued.

"The third morning I returned and found him there at the door to meet me. He was worried. You were far too skinny and you were drinking lots of water. Your heat was slowly draining you and it wasn't letting up. He went to take the tea from me and as he took it into his hand I couldn't help but let the worry show and that was when he followed my line of vision to the cup of tea."

"So..he put two and two together and…."

"He dumped your tea into a nearby potted plant and told me not to return to your quarters unless summoned," She paused and turned to face me, "which took two more days. He was worried. Your heat had seemed to calm some but it was still upon you. He had realized he had driven you to the tea and he pleaded for me to find a way to release you from your torture. So I made a tea that is often used to cleanse ones system of toxins and had him give it to you."

I lowered my head and realized that I had no choice; I was to carry his heirs because clearly I would not be allowed to drink my tea anymore and I doubt he would let Aoiyuki to continue to follow my request and try to search for another that might work. Knowing him, he would probably personally check any tea's being served to me.

"On the seventh day he left your room rather exhausted asking everyone to let you be until today. He gave strict orders that you were to stay in your quarters and rest unless he otherwise stated."

I stared down at my midsection and felt my eyes grow hot. I watched as everything blurred as the feeling of warm wetness slipped down my cheeks, coming to a stop at my chin where they fell off, landing on my cold blanket clenched hands.

I felt hands on my shoulders and felt myself pulled into a lap as I cried. No words were said for the longest time and eventually I found the soft and calming movement of a brush through my hair slowing lulling me into a calmness I hadn't felt in a while.

When the brushing stopped I waited a few minutes before sitting up. I stood up and un-wrapped the blanket from around my body and held it out to her.

She shook her head and wrapped me in a blanket cocoon, "It's cold and you are barely dressed. Take it, I have others."

I made my way to her door and opened it, walking out without closing it behind me. I walked with a new calm, a calm that was not me.

I would be birthing him another pup. Another year of birthing and of being locked away like some dirty secret or coveted prize, not that he'd let me go anywhere either way.

I passed him by as I went up the stairs and said nothing to him. I felt him follow behind him and found that I didn't even have the energy to hate him anymore. It was useless and wasteful and as I made my way to my quarters I realized it was futile.

I would be an infant stomping my feet for not getting my way and since that hadn't worked I would now be what everyone wanted, a quiet well dressed doll, a breeding tool with no thoughts or feelings.

I felt a hand on my arm and didn't bother to look up as I was guided into my room and helped into my bed. I was covered until I found the layers of blankets stifling, but I said nothing. It was best to do nothing.

Yes…do nothing, say nothing, become nothing….

To Be Continued…..

THANK YOU ALL! For reading and reviewing and all the great feedback. You certainly make me feel better about my writing. You give me the confidence to keep writing and I thank you.

This chapter was quite exciting and then ended in a deep sadness and loss of self. The next few chapters are going to hurt. When you guys review and say it made you cry, don't feel bad because when writing chapters that make you cry I often tear up myself while writing them.

Well let me post this and go to bed. Writing til 4am is tiring.

Kat


	14. Chapter 14: Trying to Escape this Desire

**Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 14: Trying to Escape this Desire**

I found myself more lost than I had ever been before. I felt like a child again, lost in my own pity, loathing and self hating. I didn't do much, I found myself too drained to move let alone leave my room. I wasn't sure what to blame, my depression or the unborn pup beneath my skin. I couldn't bring myself to blame or hate the unborn pup I carried. I hated the circumstances and my ability to bear just a bit but I would never hate a living being that came from my body.

Ryusei came to visit often and brought his sister when he did. He grew by leaps and bounds, my soon to be ten year old son. He spoke with a loud clarity and self assertiveness that made me smile. He was proud of his family and of himself. He was my little sunshine.

His sister who had just recently turned a year old was now outspoken and like most little ones her new favorite word was "no". She was so…different from her big brother, yin and yang, not because they were male and female but because he was always yes and she no. He seemed demure in comparison to her brash quickness. She was a female miniature of me. At one she stood on chubby legs and walked with a strut that only she could pull off. What pleased me to the point of grinning; a rarity these days, was hearing her call me Chichiue, although it came out more "Chewy".

As the month came to a close it was decided to throw a party to celebrate Ryusei's birth as well as ring in the new year to come. My son would be allowed to stay up like the adults and as the coming year began he would no longer be treated as a mere pup but as a male of the Inu clan. He seemed too young to me, too young to be considered an adult. I felt my chest tighten at the thought of what he would go through in the coming years. This year would only mark the beginning for him. He would start training in hand to hand combat as well as swordsmanship. He would learn what techniques he would be able to master and he would learn what it was to be a young man in the royal Inu tribe.

Already I heard talk of potential fiance's, male and female alike. I would sit and listen to talk but if something were to be pushed forward without my consent….let's just say I would not allow my son to end up like me.

I tried not to let what was happening get to me but it did and I tried not to let it show. I did not want my son to think I disapproved of him or his coming of age, so I grinned and bared it with as silent a grace as I could.

I watched the castle transform into a dark, dreary and quiet prison to a hustling and bustling center of activity. Decorations were strung about here and there and plain white candles were replaced with those of red, blue and green. I had never seen the castle so clean or been bombarded by the many pleasant aroma's that floated through the halls and rooms. Potpourri filled the nooks and crannies along with drying citrus fruits strung with cinnamon. I found myself lost in the calming effect the changes brought about. As if I were trying to convince myself I weren't locked away in the same place and instead in a new and interesting home or land.

As the celebration drew close I watched as messengers left, sometimes two or three at a time, off to various destinations to extend invitations to what was sure to be a joyous occasion. I wondered if that was how Sesshomaru's secretary had worded it. The thought itself made me shake my head in amusement. I wondered if the servants, maids and guards thought me insane at times as I wondered the prison that was my home.

It was a bright day when I found my prison overrun with various people and their entourage. Only the most important were housed within our walls, others were housed in guests housing not but a few minutes walk from our home. I sat in my window and watched heavily bundled individuals arrive in demon form and in their human like visage on various forms of transportation. What surprised me was the amount of attendee's this year. There had to be a representative from every animal clan out there, or at least those who had survived Naraku's attacks.

I was disturbed from my watch when my door opened and Sesshomaru entered carrying a kimono. He tossed it on my bed and looked my way.

"We are having a dinner tonight to welcome some of the more important visitors in demon society, I ask that you attend and dress appropriately."

I stood up and walked over to my bed, lifting the sleeve up of the kimono he had tossed on the bed. I couldn't keep the look of disdain and general displeasure off of my face as I eyed it.

"Do you find fault in it," he asked in his usual empty tone.

His tone irritated me, the kimono with its effeminate style and colors irritated me and as I felt my changing body I felt more than irritated.

"You do know I have a penis right," and I let the venom and general questioning tone roll right off the tongue and out of my mouth without a second thought.

To that he just stared at me for a moment and gave me a confused look. I clenched my jaw and ground my teeth just a bit.

"Can you find me clothes that are appropriate for a man? I am tired of dressing like woman! I am not a woman, when are you going to get that through your fucking head!?"

"You've worn others like this one before," he replied.

"Well perhaps I don't feel like wearing any at this time, or perhaps I just didn't want to put ripples in the water before, or perhaps just perhaps, those were the only types of kimono and yukata you've sent me."

"I will see to having new kimono made for you," was his reply.

"Then I will see to coming dinner when they are done and arrived."

With that I returned to my window and sat down, starring down at the snow trodden grounds below. It was silent as I sat there his presence still there. You could feel him, a heavy sense of power in the room. I heard the rustle of clothing and then my door closed. I sat there a while longer watching as the sky began to darken, which in the winter means it merely went from a cloudy white sky to a deep gray and then black. The last light of day had all but faded when the sound of feet pounded into my quarters and my door swung open giving way to a heavily breathing Ryusei followed by a giggling Chiouka who also seemed out of breath, her little chest heaving with the weight of her race.

Ryusei's arms hugged a package to his body that was as wide as he was, his cheeks were flushed a healthy pink and little strands of silvery hair flew free from his once tightened ponytail plait.

"What have we here? Are you two causing mischief again," I asked as I turned to give them my full attention.

"No ChiChiue! Otoosan sent us. He said you needed this," and with that those once pudgy fingers now held out the package.

I took the package in my hands and leaned down placing a kiss atop his head before doing the same to Chiouka who patted her head calling, "me" repeatedly.

"What is it ChiChiue," asked Ryusei who followed me over to my bed.

"I don't know, shall we find out," I asked as I untied the twine keeping it wrapped.

Ryusei nodded his head and Chiouka called out "no" while also nodding her head yes.

I tossed the string aside and opened the brown paper revealing deep red silk which reminded me of camellia's in bloom. As I lifted the material I found that it was a traditional heian period outfit similar to the one I had often worn before although a more elegant material. It reminded me of the outfits often wore by the adults in my mothers home in when I was younger. I had often seen young lords wearing outfits similar to this one although not nearly as bright and not with such fine embroidery.

There were layers of white and black that shimmered in the candle light. It was beautiful and I could refuse but even though he was an ass, he had considered my feelings and had found me a mens hakama set so I would wear it.

"Come Chiouka, lets go play with the blocks in the sitting area while ChiChiue gets ready," I heard Ryusei say. I looked up from the silky set of clothing and watched as Chiouka practically ran from the room at the sound of blocks.

I smiled and shook my head as the door to my bedroom was closed. I looked down at the material and undressed down to my fundoshi. I slide the first layer kimono on, a soft pale red shed compared to the outer robe. I slide it on and tied it in place and picked up the second layer, a light black silk robe and once again wrapped it around so that the collar of the first layer could be seen and tied it in place. The third robe and matching Hakama pants were black and as I adjusted so that the previous layers collars could be seen I tied it and made sure both the kimono and hakama pants were secure. I looked in the mirror and found that I could no longer see the just barely noticeable bump I had developed under the layers of kimono.

Most don't start really showing til their third or fourth full moon but my weight loss from before the conception had allowed the first signs to show earlier. I was only two full moons along and yet I could feel the energy inside of me as the pup grew.

I shook the thoughts from my mind and grabbed the last robe and put it on over the black. The reds, whites and blacks brought out my pale coloring even more than just my red fire rat kimono had. It made my hair stand out like stars in a blazing horizon.

As I stared at myself I saw a shadow of my old self, the only difference being the look my eyes reflected. I doubted I would ever see the old flame that had once shone brightly in them before.

I heard a knock on the door and watched as Reika entered with a set of combs and hair utensils. I supposed I might as well let them do my hair. At least I could wear men's clothing.

They brushed my hair and ran warm oil through parts of it, leaving the smell of citrus and rosehips around me as they did so. They took my sides and brought them back in a ponytail atop my head in which they placed hair pins of gold and copper maple leaves with dangling beaded orange garnets, rubies, citrine and opal gems. I looked like some mythological creature from one of Kagome's manga.

I stood up and slid on a pair of geta which felt rather odd after months of running around the castle in nothing but my tabi. I walked into my sitting room and found myself the center of attention.

It was hard to not fidget as I stood there and looked down at my son who now wore a fine hakama set similar to his fathers but in a beautiful shade of deep blue that in Kagome's time was called Navy Blue, something to do with uniforms and sailors…I don't know much about the colors name origin but I did know that it had become a favorite color of my son and it looked wonderful on him. His eyes seemed to glow against the dark color along with his silvery locks. His hair had also been redone; His sides pulled back into a new plait behind his head, tied off with a sapphire encrusted string of sorts that also ran along his braid. He would be a prize mate for any who were lucky enough to win his heart; then again I was his birth sire.

Chioka wore a kimono of perwinkle with a turquoise sash that trailed the floor behind her while silver butterflies flew upwards along her kimono, her hair done in silver butterflies encrusted with amethyst and turquoise stones to match her kimono.

"Pretty!"

I smiled down at Chiouka and patted her head before looking over at my son who grinned at me and held out his hand;"Shall I escort you ChiChiue?"

I smiled and placed my right hand in his and held my left out for Chiouka who took it humming happily. We left my quarters and made our way down the hall and down a flight of stairs and into the main hallway where the loud of music could be heard along with the chatter of conversations. We passed many guards who stood at their assigned posts as we made our way through the long stretch of hallway. We came to the large wooden doors which had already been opened and propped in place by door stops and latches and passed by another set of guards as we entered the large ball room.

What had once been just an overly large dining room that had seemed so vastly empty was now crowded and seemed so small.

I walked hand in hand with my son and daughter through the crowded room passing lookers by until I saw the familiar fluffy boa of my brother, who stood in the middle of the room. Unlike last time he turned and saw me and beckoned me over.

I made my way to him and worked hard to plaster what one could call a smile on my face. By time I had gotten to him I had the attention of all his company.

"From the similarity in looks I'd hazard a guess that this is your mate and brother, Inu Yasha," stated more than asked a tall youkai with honey brown eyes short tan hair with highlights of black through the top and a wide grin which showed off a pair of long canines.

"You have guessed right Lord Pacchiri," Sesshomaru said with a stiff nod.

I stood beside Sesshomaru, my son and daughter's hands still in my grasp.

"I have to agree with the rumors, he has an unusual beauty to him," The one who Sesshomaru had called Lord Pacchiri said as he followed my arms down to my hands and they stopped upon seeing my children.

"Ah, and these are your heirs! Quite lovely themselves aren't they," he stated more than asked once again.

"My son Ryusei and my daughter Chiouka," I said aloud and let go of my sons hand so that I would not embarrass him.

This was his night, to show that he was soon to be a man, a dog; no longer a pup and yet I clung to him like he were a still one.

Ryusei bowed to his father and his father's peers and made a proper greeting," Good evening."

"He is quite the getleman," responded a demoness beside Pacchiri.

"I must agree my darling, should you wish it and himself not opposed I wouldn't mind our clans being united with a pairing, although I think we would be getting the better bargain in this."

I blinked and found myself surprised.

"Do not look so surprised Lord Inu Yasha. We of the Jackal clan look kindly on those of hanyou blood. It is new blood that makes our clans better in the long run, not to mention that both you and your brother already carry superior blood."

I nodded and gave them a short nod. Chiouka yawned loudly causing everyone to look down at her.

"I believe the Hime finds our conversation boring," said the Jackal Lord's mate with a grin.

I looked across the room and found a huddled group of children playing with various toys, "I'll take her to play with the others; it's been nice making your acquaintances." I made a bow and walked away.

As we neared the children Chiouka tugged on my sleeve and called out, "play?"

I nodded and she cried out in joy as I let go of her hand. I watched her run and join the others, not a shy bone in her body as she took the imitative and began to talk and play with the other youkai children. I stood there watching unaware of the party or other guests until I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I turned and found myself looking into a familiar pair of cerulean blue eyes.

"Long time no see, mutt face."

I felt my mouth open and no words came out as I stared at Kouga in surprise.

"That surprised to see me? I didn't think I'd ever see you speechless," he said with a grin and a chuckle.

I closed my mouth and cleared my throat, even though there was nothing physical in it.

"I never thought I'd see you in this castle," I replied stupidly.

"I'm mated to Ayame now so I suppose I'm considered safe to be near you, that and he's marked and pupped you once more so there is no threat to him if I am near you."

"I had a feeling you two would eventually mate," I said with a smile.

"Yes, mated and soon to be father. I'll be in your place in May just remember me fondly, I have a feeling Ayame will kill me once her labor pains begin."

"I doubt it, although…if Sesshomaru and I had been on better terms when I was birthing Ryusei I dare say he'd not have the equipment to pup me again."

Kouga turned to watch Chiouka playing with the others, "So she was the one conceived that day…not bad, the two of you make decent looking pups but neither will compare to mine when it's born."

I laughed, "Already the proud papa," I said shaking my head.

"From your scent I'd say you're soon to have another to fawn over."

I lay my hands on my belly and watched turned to look at Kouga who seemed to see the sadness etched on my face and turned away again.

"If it continues to get worse let me know. We're not a large clan, nor are we very powerful but if you need our aide you'll have it and I'm pretty sure you can say the same for your kitsune pal and the humans he stays with."

I nodded and let my hands fall back to my sides, "How is Shippo?"

"The brat is engaged to that human girl he loved so…much. We have all warned him and he knows the risks involved and he and the girl…I think Tsubame is her name."

"As long as he's happy…that's all that matters. Tell him that he can visit or write to me should he have the need. I can't leave this castle let alone these grounds so something to break the monotony would be nice."

Kouga nodded and turned to look over my head, a frown appearing on his face.

"I should say my bye while I have the chance. I think your brother has come to end our conversation. Remember what I said," and with that I watched him bow in my direction and then turn to bow in Sesshomaru's direction, though not nearly as deeply as he had bowed to me.

I watched him leave and felt an ache in my chest. I found it hard to breathe. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up into my brothers stern gold eyes and felt my chest tighten further.

"Did he say something to upset you," he asked and I saw what I assumed was worry on his features.

"No, I think the activity is getting to me. I'm going to go lie down, apologize to Chiouka and Ryusei for me," I turned to leave and felt his hand squeeze my shoulder and then his breath was in my ear.

"Your Hakama looks nice," with that he pulled back and I felt the tightness in my chest loosen a bit as I turned back around to look him in the eye.

I nodded and whispered thank you as I turned and fled, afraid to show him my face, afraid of what emotions were now on its surface as my cheeks heated.

To Be Continued…..

Sorry it took so long. Once again, thank you everyone who reads and thank you everyone who reviews. It helps keep me focused on writing. I almost deleted this chapter and started over but I forced myself through it. So enjoy. I gave up my Karaoke night at the bar to finish it but no worries, I needed a me night anyway.

Hopefully more to come and maybe an update for Cornerstone before I start another fic.

Kat


	15. Chapter 15: The yearning to be near you

**Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 15: The yearning to be near you**

I found myself entertained by the simplest of things as of late. Most often those things involved my daughter.

Chiouka was always on the go. She made her way from one end of the castle to the other and I found myself following her, trying to find something enjoyable about this place I called a prison. It did me no good to sit around wishing for something that wouldn't happen anytime soon. So I kept myself busy and entertained, which in itself was hard to do now that my eldest was in training.

A month had gone by since the party and as the weather continued to grow colder and the snow continued to fall in spurts I saw less and less of my son and his sire. I welcomed Sesshomaru's absence but grieved at my sons. I wasn't the only one who missed Ryusei, his sister seemed at a loss without her Oniichan and the servants and staff noticed a lack of his presence and commented more often than I did, then again I rarely spoke my concerns out loud.

Chiouka grew by leaps and bounds and as she grew so did her intellect and thirst for knowledge. We'd take walks through the halls and she'd point to portraits and objects that had amassed and been displayed in the many halls and rooms and ask what or why or who and I'd try my best to answer. With each day she learned a new word or phrase and tried her best to impress Rin and Aoiyuki by using her new words and phrases. They too found much amusement in her intelligence and wit especially when she began to teach Hotaru her new words. The two together was a sight to behold.

As the month of February lead into March and spring began to thaw the winter's ice I found myself unable to do much other than sleep, eat and use the bathroom.

The slightest task left me exhausted and more often than not I retreated to my room and under my covers. I would wake slightly when Chiouka climbed atop my bed, burrowing under the covers and coming to snuggle next to me in the very same position Ryusei used to; her head under my chin and nestled against my beating heart. As she weaned from Rin's breast she also weaned from her as well. Rin was not upset nor depressed at the loss. She remained a nursemaid to my daughter and said she would gladly be there for my new pup when it was born. I held no ill will towards her and never would, it had been my own stupidity as well as Sesshomaru's that had caused things to turn out as they had and even though the thought of it made my blood boil I pushed all ill thoughts and ill will aside and tried to stay positive for myself and my children.

I still had no idea where Sesshomaru stood in the scheme of things or how I felt for him. I was in no hurry to sort out my feelings or thoughts; I had a lifetime with the bastard. We were mates and nothing in the next few months would change that and we would always be brothers.

I had no plans to leave any time soon. Kouga's offer would always be on the table and I knew he would take me and my pups but would it be worth the war? No, never. I would not allow another to sacrifice what they held dear for my sake. No, I had seen too much of that as it was. No, I would stay with Sesshomaru until the time and need deemed otherwise, besides it would not be wise to leave this home while carrying.

Another month flew by and my exhaustion remained and my body grew. As the snows ended I found myself in my fifth month of carrying and had the full attention of everyone but my missing mate who still seemed to be missing with my son.

If I could carry his heirs the least he could do was acknowledge me while I did so other than his stupid hen pecking and knit picking. I continued my routine without him. Yes, my routine…Wake, bathe, eat, play with Chiouka, eat, nap, play with chiouka, snack, nap, eat and sleep. In between I found myself in emptying my abused bladder.

An abused bladder was not my only issue, the little critter found joy in pushing and shoving my innards around as if there weren't enough room in there, leaving me stumped as to why. Neither Ryusei or Chiouka had acted as though they were cramped until the end of my seventh month.

Chiouka enjoyed our play time and when I ate she too would eat. When I napped she napped and when she wasn't tired Rin would kindly entertain her. The little one had much intelligence in her and I saw more of her father in her than myself. As she grew she looked oddly familiar and I realized she looked much like her grandmother, Sesshomaru's mother. I wondered if the woman whom my daughter resembled would grace us with her visage again and as quickly as I thought it I wished I hadn't. I had no need of her sarcasm or biting remarks, I had enough from the fruit of her womb.

As Spring graced the castle with its warm breeze and bright sun I felt my spirits rise. I waddled through the castle now, I could not move any other way. I found myself large enough at six months to resemble myself at eight. I found myself wearing my old robes from late in Chiouka's carrying period and seeing they were getting tight my maids had ordered a few sets of robes in larger sizes. I suppose embarrassment would have followed but I found myself not caring. Better to be big and well clothed than to be naked with my body exposed for all to see.

In mid April a letter had been received from Sesshomaru himself saying to expect him back soon so the servants went out of their way to make the castle as saintly clean as they could, going as far as to prepare a meal to welcome both masters home. I found a nervous excitement deep inside and I couldn't decide what made me more nervous, seeing my son after so long or my brother.

As they readied the excitement grew and it only took two days after the letters arrival for the two to be sighted over the horizion.

"Lord Inu Yasha! You must look out your window! The lords arrive from the north," shouted Reika excitedly as she set my new set of yukata on my bed.

I watched as she threw open the curtains and pushed the windows out, opening them and allowing a pleasant breeze in. I stood and waddled my way over to the window and stared out unable to see anything beyond the horizion.

"Look closer lord, see…there," said Reika as she leaned in next to me and pointed up a little higher.

I followed her line of sight and that's when I saw the familiar four legged figure of my brother in full demon form with an unfamiliar companion beside him. My breath caught in my throat as I watched them dance across the sky and clouds. They were indeed a beautiful sight and yet…it hurt to see it. My chest tightened and I felt my eyes grow hot. I felt the tears brim over the edge and quickly wiped at them in an attempt to be rid of them.

"Don't fret lord. It makes my heart swell to see him so grown as well. Just think, soon you'll have another little one to care for along with little Chiouka."

I nodded and fought more tears, taking deep breaths to calm my overwhelming emotions.

"Come, I'll help you dress. We must make you look amazing so that your brother has no choice but to comment."

I allowed Reika to lead me to my full length dressing mirror table and stood there as she helped me disrobe and then redress in my newest yukata. I paid no attention to the find embroidery only seeing the way the white of it made an ethereal light around me in the mirror. Making look like some lost deity I wasn't.

When she finished she led me to my dressing table and helped me to sit on the cushioned stool, a heaviness that was all too familiar weighing my heart down making my physical burden seem even heavier.

My son was a full demon, there had never been any doubt and now there never would be. He would become a great and powerful lord just like his father. The memory of them in flight hurt me more than it should have. You would think that hundreds of years of knowing who and what I am would have destroyed my longing to be full demon and it made me ashamed of myself to have them drudged up at my sons crowning achievement.

I still had the jewel but it barely held any power currently. If it would regain its former glory only the future could say. It would be a mixed blessing if it did. I could do what I wanted in the past and make myself a full blooded demon but then again we'd have every demon from here to Timbuktu fighting to capture it. I closed my eyes willing the thoughts to vanish. No need to think on the past or even the far future, it would do no good in the here and now.

I watched as Reika combed my hair adding incense and oil as she did so, her favorite smell on me had always been rosehips and any kind of citrus she could find and today it was lemon. It was hard to retreat into my tired depression with the refreshing smell of lemon around me and I forced myself to look up at the mirror as Reika chattered away glancing at me through the mirror smiling the entire time.

"Your hair has grown even longer! Should we leave it down and allow the full effect of it to catch our lord's attention; he does love your hair."

I saw my hair fanned out around me and I realized that it had grown pretty long. It was cool enough that I supposed I could allow the annoyance of it being down for once. I often kept it braided or up in a bun or hair piece in the hopes of keeping it out of Chiouka's grasp. It seems she enjoyed my hair as much as her sire.

I nodded and cleared my throat, "Sure, I leave it in your capable hands Reika."

She grinned widely and fetched a large sewing needle from my hair pin drawer along with a handful of glittering crystals. I watched as she carefully threaded and tied off a few here and there throughout my hair, not that it was really necessary. Pregnancy had made my hair not only longer but shinier and healthier than it otherwise was leaving it a curtain of moonlight in the daylight. With my wardrobe finished Reika helped me stand and then stepped back taking it all in as the sunlight silhouetted my body.

I saw her eyes widen and then she grinned.

"You're ready. Let's go see Lord Sesshomaru and your son."

And with that she walked to the door and opened it, holding open for me like many of the servants did for royalty during parties. As I walked I felt anything but like royalty.

I made my way down the stairs and felt the tension leave my body as I did so. It wasn't as if he hadn't seen my large with pup before and he would look the same…no it wasn't him….it was my son. I was worried about my son. Would he still be my little Ryusei? I shook my head causing some of my loose locks to fall over my shoulder. As I came to the end of the stairs I found Kohaku standing there staring up at me like I was something he had never seen before. I watched as he shook his head and cleared his throat.

"I was just about to fetch you. Lord Sesshomaru is in the dining room with Lord Ryusei. They were worried you wouldn't make it down."

I gave a small nod and walked past him and made my way down the hall towards the dining room. Upon reaching the opened doors I found similar reactions to Kohaku's as the guards moved aside and stood stiffly as I entered the room. I could see the dining table a few feet away but somehow it seemed as though it were miles.

I stood there and stared past the others and found my eyes locked on Sesshomaru but soon found them forced away as I saw the figure next to him. The small baby I had birthed twelve years ago was no more, nor was the young boy who ran with the children of Sango's village. He was no man, not yet…but he was a young man, a young man who suddenly stopped talking as he looked in my direction.

It was as if all other sounds had vanished and only my breath and heartbeat; which thrummed in my ears, was all that remained.

"ChiChiue…"

I watched as Ryusei stood up and made his way towards me and at the same time I made my way closer to him. We met somewhere in the middle and where I thought would be an awkward silence there was none.

"Good god, no one said you were about to pop! Toosan said he wanted to return home sooner and now I see why. He doesn't admit to it, but he's quite the worry wart."

I stood there staring almost eye to eye. He had gained height! Goodness, an inch or two and we would be eye to eye. A few more inches and he would be taller than me. He had his father's height.

I felt his arms encircle me and I felt muscles that had not been there before. The image of my little one was no more.

"Come sit, ChiChiue," he said as he took my arm and led me to the table.

We came to stand next to Sesshomaru who at first looked surprised as he looked me over. I felt a small victory at that but it was short lived as my mind nagged at me, wondering what astounded him, my looks or my overly large pup filled belly.

I had barely begun to ponder it when the clattering of his chair broke my attention as he stood and hastily pulled out my chair for me. To say that I was surprised would be putting it lightly but I fought not to show even a hint of it. I sat down and allowed him to push me in.

I had a plate set in front of me and I lifted my fork and began to eat before Sesshomaru even sat down. I pretended not to notice his hands playing with my hair, which was easy to do since the ends nearly touched ankles and the tug was barely noticeable.

"So has anything exciting happened while we were away," asked Ryusei excitedly.

"Chiouka has begun to talk in sentences. I wouldn't call them complete just yet but she certainly does enjoy giving her opinion in all matters. Oh, and she has decided that she now enjoys sharing my bed. Reminds me of when you were little although I believe she's a bit more of a bed hog than you were."

"How about the unborn pup," asked Sesshomaru after he returned to his own chair beside me.

"Growing, growing and moving," I answered as I placed my fork free hand on my belly self-consciously.

His eyes followed my hand and I felt uneasy as he stared at me. He seemed constipated with unsaid words and I didn't know what to say or how to say any of the many responses that crowded my mind. So instead we remained quiet.

Eventually his eyes returned to his plate and I to mine. Dinner continued on until all plates were emptied and we were filled to the point of popping, me more than anyone else.

I listened to Ryusei talk about his adventures in the snowy mountains and his training and how he and his sire traveled the lands learning new techniques and styles of fighting. I listened while sipping gingerly on a well aged wine until my eyes fought to stay open.

"You'll have to excuse your ChiChiue Ryusei, it seems as though he is exhausted," said Sesshomaru in what I could assume was mirth at my expense.

"You carry a pup and then you will know just how exhausting it is."

After I said it I realized I had been pouting. I would have cared a lot more if I wasn't tired and achy, bloated and just a tad bit tipsy.

To that I heard no answer and I made to look up but not quick enough as I felt my chair move backwards and then large and strong arms carefully pulled me up into a standing position. I felt one arm around my widened waist while the other held my left arm as I was guided out of the dining room like some well bred lady.

I allowed it; there wasn't much else I could do. My mind was muddled with wine and I was exhausted. The wine had succeeded in ridding me of my insecurities and in trade for my inhibitions.

As I was led up the stairs I placed my right hand atop the one wrapped around my waist and gripped the one in my other hand tighter.

"It's your fault, you know," I said slightly slurred.

As we reached the top of the stairs he responded, "What is?"

"My exhaustion, my drunkenness and my stress….and I could probably name a thousand more things so don't even try to think of reasons that would make you innocent."

"And why are you stressed," he asked as we reached my quarters.

"I am not nearly inebriated enough to start that conversation," I said as I twirled in his arms like a drunken ballerina until I came to face him, my back against the door leading in to my quarters.

He leaned in closer, until we were face to face in the literal sense, his breath warm against my cheeks. He wrapped his arm around my waist again before opening the door to my quarters and turning me about so that I was facing in the general direction of my bedroom. He didn't so much as push me, more like march me into my bedroom; closing the door behind him.

He led me over to my nice soft bed and helped me take off the outer layer of my yukata, leaving on my thinner under layer before helping to sit. He lifted my legs causing me to fall back against the fine down pillows and then I watched him take off his own outer layer of kimono and hakama pants before walking around to the other side of the bed.

My pulse quickened as my mind frantically pondered his actions.

Did he expect us to couple like I was in heat? I hope not. I was much too tired and too large with pup to actually receive any pleasure from it. Everything ached, I just couldn't imagine coupling at this time.

I felt the bed dip and then it shook as he moved beside me and then the sheet came up over us and I felt him pull me flush against his chest. My heart quickened at the sudden contact and as his hand came to rest on my overly large belly I could have sworn my heart now resided in my throat.

His hand moved no further, it just lay there on my stomach which my once slumbering pup lay quiet now moved and kicked inside letting me know it was unhappy with my stressing.

I moved my hand to rub my belly in the hopes of quieting him or her but found the need met by its very sire. He seemed lost in the movement of my pup and my belly and as the movement calmed and then ended I found my eyes too heavy to keep open any longer until there was nothing but the comforting warmth at my back and now wrapped around my body.

To Be Continued….

OMG! Thank you so…much for all the reviews. I seriously mean it! Never before had I received paragraphs for reviews and I not only received one review like this but over ten if not more so…thank you! They really made my day and helped me to get through this chapter. More to come and hopefully more to please you all.

Kat


	16. Chapter 16: I Do What I Have To Do

**Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 16: I Do What I Have To Do**

I opened my eyes and felt exhaustion tug them once again closed. I blinked them open again and watched as my brother and mate stood by the bed and dressed himself in slow precise movements. Once he was fully dressed and looked once more the elegant lord of his lands he turned and looked down at me with a look of calm thoughtfulness.

"Continue to sleep, it is early yet," he said and without a word I merely closed my eyes and snuggled into what had been his pillow, pulling it closer to me.

It felt as though those simple words had a power to them but I knew they didn't, I was merely exhausted and in no need to be awake. Let him leave and leave me to my own schedule.

As I began to drift back into sleep I heard the door to my bedroom open and softly whispered words before I felt my bed dip once again under someone's weight and then I felt the warm small hands of my daughter as she lifted the arm I wasn't sleeping on and crawled beneath it, allowing it to fall over her along with my sheet as she snuggled against my chest pushing away her fathers pillow.

I opened my eyes once more, just for a moment so that I could look down at her. I bent my head and placed a kiss upon her brow before closing my eyes once more and drifting once again into my dream filled sleep.

I awoke and found brunch on my dressing table and my daughter gone from my bed and room. I sat up and made an attempt to struggle from my bed an inch or so at a time until I was on the edge and then standing. I stretched until the cracking sounds that come with old age were no more. I ate my brunch and then threw on a robe and made my way to the baths.

I enjoyed a quiet day of wandering the castle, napping in the library after reading and then a quick snack of honeyed melon before playing with Chiouka and her now returned "Nisan". I rested and relaxed as they played; Hotaru joining in along with two children who belonged to servants here at the castle. Dinner was served and not long after I made my way back to my quarters and fell asleep with my daughter snuggled at my front and my brother at my back.

That is how my days continued. It was a quiet happiness and for once one that I would not take for granted.

My Seventh month came and went and with it my strength. I could barely stand to be on my feet and more often than not found sleep a faithful companion. I found myself waking to worried stares and Aoiyuki's was no different. She was insistent when it came to checkups and constantly monitored my behavior and mood and any aches or pains were written down and catalogued.

I fear I worried my brother the most. I found myself too tired to argue or disagree with his words or actions and most of the time simply gave in to even the smallest and stupidest of demands he made upon my person.

It was on the day after my human night that I too began to feel concern for my health.

The transformation had felt rougher than usual, the pain sharper and the transformation slower. The same could be said for the transformation back, only multiply it ten fold.

No one knew of course and I preferred it that way. I didn't like others seeing me at my weakest and even though Ryusei had seen me transformed before it felt different with his newly acquired status as a grown male demon. It felt odd thinking it in my mind but my body and emotions agreed completely, my inner self panicking at the thought of having another full demon in my presence while human.

I found myself aching deep inside and my overly active pup pummeled my insides mercilessly causing me to stay in my locked quarters longer than I would have normally after the new moon.

The pain changed as sharp stabbing pain began to center itself in my back and then grew to an ache around my middle. I didn't bother keeping count; I knew what these pains meant. I was in labor and with labor it could be hours like with Ryusei or mere moments like with Chiouka.

I walked my quarters, alleviating some of the ache and when the pains became too intense I knelt on the floor on all fours and rocked my body, finding that it helped me concentrate on my breathing, which made it easier to get through the contractions. I did this until the sun was about to set and then I realized the pains seemed more intense than I had experienced with Ryusei. They weren't nearly as horrible or excruciating like those I had with Chiouka but they were odd enough that I thought better not handling them by myself.

It was night and as I opened the door to my quarters I found the halls empty. Not a soldier or guard in sight nor the hint of a servant, most likely my doing. I had practically begged to be left alone on my human night every time it came upon me. I was pretty sure that Sesshomaru pulled all guards from my quarters and the surrounding areas on my behalf.

I walked a ways down the hall, stopping every few inches to gather my strength after another energy sapping contraction would strip me of any I had gained or regained.

I found myself outside of one of the largest doors I had ever seen and knew I had found Sesshomaru's quarters. I leaned against the door and rapped lightly on it.

No answer came so I opened it and found well decorated and empty quarters. I could have wept in frustration but pain took hold of me once again and I found myself sagging against one of his high-backed chairs.

As the pain lessened once again, I made my way to his bed in the next room. I collapsed on my side on his soft mattress and struggled to find a comfortable position as I thought on my next move. I lay there as another contraction took over my body and gasped, fisting Sesshomaru's sheets hoping for some sort of release. It eased and I lay there sweating debating and whether I should scream and be done with it. I was pretty sure my agonized screams would bring someone.

Another contraction took hold and took the decision out of my hands as a scream was tore from my throat.

I heard the partially opened door slam against the wall and hurried footsteps as the pain ebbed away. I felt a hand on my enormous belly and blinked a few times, clearing away tears of pain before I could finally see Sesshomaru's worried face.

"Summon Aoiyuki! I have found him," he commanded to whoever stood in his bedroom doorway.

His hands held my stomach rubbing soothingly; my back now fully on the mattress, as if it would somehow keep the pup within from abusing my body so. I couldn't fault him for trying but I could dislike him a bit for once again putting me in this position.

As his hands rubbed I gasped again, arching up off the bed this time. I grabbed at his hands stilling their movements, finding their movement even more uncomfortable during the contraction. It ended and I turned onto my side gasping into his blankets, letting go of his hands in favor of clawing up the fine material atop his bed.

The shuffling of feet filled the room and Sesshomaru's hands completely left my body as a smaller softer pair took their place. I looked down my body and found Aoiyuki standing over the bed and my lower body.

"I am beginning to believe what your brother says about you always finding yourself in trouble, intentional or not," she said in an almost serious and joking tone.

I nodded with my head against the blankets and bed and let out a breath as my anxiety lessened with her arrival, "Couldn't make it much farther, hoped someone would be on the same floo…..arrrrrrrrr."

I gripped the blankets, my nails tearing little holes into them as another wave of pain rolled over my body.

"Lord Sesshomaru, if I could ask you to leave the room for a moment. I would like to examine your mate," Aoiyuki said politely.

"I suppose, even though you have taken over my bedroom."

As the pain ended I gasped and forced myself to sit up and leaned against the bed posts, using them for support as I stood up. I took steps towards the door and almost made it past my brother before he grabbed my shoulder stopping me.

"Where in the world do you think your going," he asked looking down into my wavering eyes.

"Going to my quarters, wouldn't want you to be inconvenienced by the birth of YOUR pups!"

I hunched over in pain and felt him lean over his hands trying to sooth my pain as much as my pain and I growled and stood up enough to start punching and slapping at any part of him I could touch until the pain worsened and then I allowed him to lift me into his arms and carry me back to his bed.

I was sweating and fighting for breath and through half lidded, tear filled eyes I watched him take a seat beside me.

"Why must you take every comment to heart," he asked in frustration.

"Why must you be….such…an assssss…," I arched up off the bed again fisting his sheets and felt another pair of hands at my hips slipping my hakama off before I saw and felt two pairs hands divesting me of my outer kimono layer.

"I need you to spread your legs Master Inu Yasha," I heard Aoiyuki ask as I finally felt the pain dissipate.

I did as asked and found my fundoshi removed and my kimono adjusted, the cool breeze on my body somewhat comforting; the hands that began to prod and poke and delve inside me not so much.

"You are not fully dilated just yet but you are close," she said patting my sides letting me know that I could close them if I chose.

"I am going to have to ask for my lord's help in not agitating him further. The more agitated and stressed he is the worse the labor pains."

I turned on my side trying to find some sort of comfort, putting my back to both Aoiyuki and my brother.

"If my lord wishes to help, massaging his back would alleviate some of his pain," I barley heard her hushed whisper.

I closed my eyes and heard the rustle of clothing and couldn't keep from jumping slightly when he placed his hands on my waist and worked his hands along my sides and then my back which his hands seemed to knead delicately and as pain once assaulted my body his hands admittedly helped to ease it some. I relaxed against his hands as he stole the bite off the pain.

I sighed and closed my eyes. I was comfortable at the moment but I knew all that would soon change.

"How long does one usually labor," he asked as I felt the bed give under his weight as he joined me on it.

"Depends on the babe my lord or in your case the pup. Chiouka was a quick birth because it was hastened by our young lord's fall and we had to force a quick birth or risk a still birth. I was never told how long our young Lord Ryusei's birth took," she said in an educational tone.

"I had pains for about two days before other signs showed. I probably hurried his birth along by taking a walk," I responded.

"Did that walk take place down by the Bone Cutters Well," asked my brother.

I stiffened a little but nodded,"It did. If it hadn't been for the mangy wolf Kouga I probably would have found myself in a bit of trouble."

"So it was you birthing in the hut," he stated more than asked.

Why bother answering, he had pieced together what had happened that day. I struggled to sit up and felt his hands on me stilling my movement.

"I'm not leaving, I've got five pounds or more of pup trying to find its way out and I'll be damned if we sit around a day more waiting for me to birth it."

He removed his hands reluctantly and I moved so that I could come to stand beside the bed, "I'm going to pace your quarters a bit, please do me the favor of shutting the door to your quarters so that my nakedness is not displayed for all to see."

I watched as he stood and did as asked and I proceeded to pace his quarters. I went from his bedroom to his sitting room, back and forth stopping every so often to ride out a contraction and repeated it as hours flew by. His bedroom curtains remained closed so there was no way to tell the hour in the day, not that it mattered anyway. I was just waiting for the next pain to roll through and then end.

A contraction rolled through me and left me kneeling on his floor atop a soft plush carpet made of some now dead animals pelt. It was then that I felt a gush of liquid between my thighs.

"I think its time to check my progress again, Aoiyuki. My waters have just broken."

No sooner had the words left my mouth that her hands were raising my kimono and her hands were once again on the most intimate of places.

"Not yet lord, but you are progressing. I'd say within the next few you'll hopefully be fully dilated."

I growled in frustration, "I want this done and over with!"

I pulled myself into a kneeling position on that plush rug in the hope that gravity would pull the pup farther down and widen my birth canal. I knelt there and took deep breaths as I rode pain after pain. Aoiyuki watched me from a distance and I appreciated that. I didn't feel panicked anymore and I wanted to be in control of this birth, I wanted their hands on me only if I asked and I wanted to be where I was comfortable and right now I had both wants catered to. I was pretty sure Aoiyuki sensed as much, and just as sure that Sesshomaru was unsure of what to do and just as fascinated by the happenings.

The pressure suddenly doubled and I felt my opening strained as an intense contraction rippled across my body, I reached down felt a slimy haired surface and couldn't stop the grin that bloomed on my face.

"It's crowning…," I said a bit breathless.

I watched Aoiyuki approach and once again place her hands where one of mine now was. She smiled and nodded.

"You can start pushing now," she said as she stepped back a few inches.

I did just that. I felt the pain leave giving me a small respite and as the next crested I breathed with it and pushed with any and all strength I had. I felt more wetness seep down my thighs and legs and knew it was nearing the end from what experiences I had with Ryusei and Chiouka.

"I hope you thought of some names Sesshomar….I believe we should have a new pup in another set of pushes," I said happy to have this pup and the weight gone from my body once more.

I looked up and found him staring at me a few feet away watching me and my body as I pushed to birth our newest pup. I felt my body expand almost painfully so and as I brought my hands below my body I was just in time to feel the head of my pup slide right into my open hands. To say I was shocked beyond words but excited and surprised were closer to reality. I pushed and bore down and felt flesh slide from my body and shoulders and arms take form in my hands. With a few final pushes it slid from my body and I now fully held a slime and mucus covered pup in my hands.

I felt hands below my own and looked to find Aoiyuki with a towel wiping at my pups face and nose and she helped me turn it over so that any fluids could be cleared and as she did so a busty wail was let loose. I turned my pup over and looked down to find that I had another healthy son. I stared at his fine pale hair and tipped ears before looking down to watch as Aoiyuki cut the cord.

I took the blanket and wrapped him fully in it and held him close. Take a deep breath, enjoying the scent of new born once again. I felt another contraction take hold and remembered that I still had the after birth to deliver. I held my son out to his father and watched as he gently took him into his arms.

I closed my eyes and pushed into the contraction which seemed to gain in strength. I gasped as I felt pressure below that was not what one would expect of afterbirth and a bit more fluid poured from my body. I gasped and rocked so that I knelt on my hands and knees.

"Inu Yasha, what's wrong," Aoiyuki as she came closer to investigate.

"I think there's another pup…," I said as the pain grew and I found myself pushing once again but barely making the impact I had with my first.

"Lord Sesshomaru, have the guards or servants call for Rin. I'm going to need your help."

I leaned on my forearms as I labored through another contraction and watched his feet shuffle past. I gasped as the pain sharpened and pushed with all the might I had into the next contraction feeling a deep ache in muscles that were barely used. I pushed hard into contractions twice more before I heard Rin's entrance and heard the bedroom door close giving us privacy.

"I need you to help him into a kneeling position again and help hold him there. He is exhausted and it isn't healthy to have him laboring so long with the second pup."

I felt his hands go under my under arms as I was lifted into kneeling position and held there by his strength alone, mine diminishing by the minute.

"Concentrate Lord Inu Yasha! Push now, you can do it. Keep going. Good good….."

She coached and I tried my hardest to do as she asked as I felt another head crown and begin to slide from my body. It was Aoiyuki who caught this pup and helped to ease…ahh his body from mine. She cleared his mouth and nose while he attempted to force a wail out from around her hands, his squalling much louder than his brothers.

I felt my body fall back completely against his and fought to keep my limbs from shaking.

Aoiyuki had already snipped the cord and was laying my second…no third son, in a basket of towels, wrapped in a blanket. He hadn't approved of that at all and let her know quite loudly.

Sesshomaru smiled, "He takes after you, just born and already quite irritated with his station in life."

I would have replied but I was far past exhausted and I couldn't get my limbs to work let alone my mouth.

"Lift him once more my lord so that he can birth the placenta."

I must be out of it, I wasn't even aware that he had sat down so that I was laying in his lap which I was now being vacated from as my body was painfully jostled into a kneeling position once again.

I managed a few weak pushes before Aoiyuki assisted me by pressing on my only slightly extended belly causing my body to finally expel the afterbirth. She pressed a few more times making sure to expel anything large before nodding in my brother's direction.

I felt my body lifted and woozily watched a blanket was laid over my body and then as scenery passed us by. I found myself laid against a tiled wall and heard rustling clothing. I was lifted from my soft blanketed cocoon and laid across my brother's lap by himself as warm water was poured over my body. I hissed as it washed away blood and other fluids from my nether regions. He took his time in bathing me and although his ministrations were needed and felt good I found myself antsy at having left my sons in his room.

He set me atop a stool momentarily, returning with a folded cloth and a clean fundoshi. I couldn't hide my embarrassment as he placed the folded cloth between my legs to staunch the bleeding that came with childbirth. He helped me to stand and with the tying of my fundoshi before wrapping a clean yukata around me and lifting me into his arms once more.

I was a bit more conscious now and was surprised to see my door pass us as he continued walking. He entered his quarters again and entered his bedroom.

Aoiyuki had already placed extra towels on his bed where the covers had been pulled back. I was lowered onto his bed and the added towels and once I was tucked in I was handed a clean newborn. I knew it was my firstborn because of his scent and state of cleanliness. I opened my yukata and brought him to my chest which was already beginning to leak in anticipation of my nursing cubs. He took a moment to latch on and once he did he wasn't greedy, he took his time to slowly nurse and enjoy the moment until he had fallen asleep.

I saw a nest of covers beside me and set him in them. It was Sesshomaru who brought me my youngest and watched with fascination as I switched to the other nipple and yelped as my youngest took to my chest and feeding with much gusto.

He drank more than his share before I burped him and handed him to his sire that placed him in another nest on his bed made of blankets. He turned and looked down at me after he was done and I blinked blearily up at him.

"Rest for now. I will watch over them. When you have rested I will have Ryusei and Chiouka brought up to meet their newest siblings."

I nodded and closed my eyes. I felt his hand wipe my bangs from my face and lips brush my forehead and I felt an ache fill my chest at the sentiment as a slight pride and another emotion I was quite certain of.

Such emotions usually kept me from sleep but I pushed all others aside and allowed sleep to claim me.

To Be Continued….

Sorry it took so long. I am going to update MOST of my stories. My next is Don't Speak. So keep reading and hopefully I'll have this updated by sometime next week if I can keep up this momentum.

Kat


	17. Chapter 17: The Yearning to be near you

**Title: Do What You Have To Do  
Author: DeityOfDeath  
Archive: Yes please...  
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo  
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi  
rating: NC-17/R  
Spoilers: Most likely.  
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!  
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies. **

**Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!**

**The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 17: The Yearning to be near you**

I awoke the next day happy that I healed quicker in my demon form than my human; as the pains from yesterday's labor and birth were almost tolerable at the moment. I heard a newborns cry and knew that it was my younger son who seemed to prefer attention now rather than later.

I opened my eyes and looked to my left and then my right realizing that the makeshift blanket cradles were no longer there. I closed my eyes again and opened them, looking around the room once more.

I noticed a bassinette a small distance away and realized the cries were coming from it. I sat up and gasped falling back against the pillows that had been propping me up. Apparently I wasn't that…healed.

My newborn son's wail grew and I struggled once again to slide my legs over the edge of the bed as slowly as possible so as not to jostle my poor body. I found myself sweating due to all my effort but I was no where close to leaving Sesshomaru's bed.

I heard the door open and watched as a stoic looking Sesshomaru entered and went straight to the bassinette, lifting our now even louder sobbing son and made his way towards me.

I shifted and moved my yukata so that it now displayed my swollen and already leaking chest as Sesshomaru leaned down handing me our red faced and angry son, his would be cherubic cheeks pinched in anger at having been denied his meal.

He latched on heartily; his lusty suckling could be heard throughout the room which caused a chuckled to pass through his sires usually sealed lips. I looked up questioning.

"He eats like you as well," he said with teasing in his eyes.

I sighed wishing I could deny it, but I too have heard my eating echoed in the room, especially when I had eaten the "ramen" that Kagome often brought.

"And is his brother much like mine, scowling quietly up at the ceiling with a constant look of constipation upon his face," I asked sounding as impertinent as the question.

To that he blinked up at me in an almost surprised way, before he could form a retort his afore mentioned son started fussing which became soft crying before Sesshomaru had reached the bassinette.

I watched as he lifted his first born of the two from the bassinette and cradle him to his chest, careful to support his head as he held him and made his way over to the bed.

"These two are as different as the two of us," I said shaking my head amused and slightly confused by the oddness.

I looked down at my nursing son, and noted his pointed ears and pale moonlight touched hair, so much like mine in its coloring but much like his sires in texture and straightness. He had markings along his eyelashes much like his sires, reminding me of the slight makeup a geisha or kabuki dancer would wear along his or her eyelids.

Sesshomaru made a place for himself on his bed which I have at the moment commandeered, and brought the younger of the two closer so that I could look him over.

I wasn't surprised to see that they were identical in looks and then I found myself happy at their different personalities, glad to have a difference in the two.

"We should name them," he said and I looked into his emotionless face and looked down at the newborn he held and then the one still noisily nursing at my chest.

"Any ideas," I asked.

"I named our daughter," he said and I nodded getting the gist of what he was saying.

"We could call him quiet and this one loud," I said almost jokingly.

"There are many names that mean quiet and loud, perhaps we can extend on that a bit, give them something a bit more…regal….or elegant…," he said searching for words that I could only assume he thought wouldn't harm my sensibilities and pride.

"Okay…and….I'm drawing a blank…," I said looking back at him.

He rolled his eyes and looked down at my loud suckling pup before speaking.

"They need something that enemies and allies will remember."

"You make it sound like they would stay together after growing up; like they will never separate," I said somewhat surprised.

"You think they will separate after a time," he asked.

"They are twins but that does not mean they are inseparable, I'm pretty sure they'll mate and separate. I doubt that they will stay together throughout their lives."

"Shall we make a bet dear brother," he asked and I looked up finding the look on his face sure.

"And what makes you so certain," I asked as my "loud" son finally let go of my now swollen and sore right nipple.

"It's a rarity but twins and triplets do occur in the demon race and when it appears more often than not they form an invincible pair."

I nodded and burped our son. It made sense, the demon world was harsh and allies were more than needed; at times they were necessary to ones survival so one could assume that multiple birth siblings did what was natural and became a team or group.

The one with a higher number was usually favored.

But even as the thought made me glad my mind would not keep my darker ones at bay. I had also seen what demons siblings became and many times it wasn't pretty. Some became nothing more than sources of energy as older or stronger siblings devoured them and their power or simply killed them to have a higher position just like those in the human world.

Others ended up like I had; a pawn or source of power and status in other ways. More often or not siblings; males who could bear young or females were married off to others to make powerful connections or bred by their siblings themselves for better genetics.

I could only hope that none of those bad things would befall these two. I wanted nothing but happy futures for my children, I silently wondered what my brother, their sire wanted for them.

"Are you lost in thought dear brother," Sesshomaru asked and I shook my head.

"Okay, so we know quiet and loud, what shall we attach to them to make them proper names," I asked as I lay "loud" down between my legs taking "quiet" from his sire, thankful to have my mind on something else.

"Death," suggested Sesshomaru.

"Overdone," I replied as I held "quiet" over my left nipple, watching as he latched on and began to softly suckle.

"Storm," Sesshomaru said aloud.

"Okay, not as overused… "Quiet storm" and "loud storm"...," I thought quietly as our "quiet" nursed and "loud was lifted into his father's arms.

"Well there is Hade and Urusaii for loud…I prefer Hade," replied Sesshomaru.

I looked over at Hade as he lay in his fathers arms and thought aloud…"I prefer Arashi over Suto-mu so I guess we can combine them and get Haderashi, now what of his brother?"

Sesshomaru held Haderashi and grinned while he looked down at our yet unnamed son nursing at my chest, "Why don't we stick with 'H' and use Hissori for quiet and combine it with Arashi for Hissorashi?"

"Haderashi and Hissorashi…I believe we can agree they sound appropriate," I said as Hissorashi nursed at my chest contentedly.

A knock disturbed our quiet and pleasant moment. Sesshomaru looked down at Haderashi and then at the door, as much as he abhorred people yelling or calling out he had no choice with his arms preoccupied with his day old son.

"Enter," he called out as regally as he could which cause a snicker to fall from my lips and I had to bite down on my lips to keep more from escaping as he turned to look at me questioningly.

The door to his bedroom opened displaying not one person but four. There in the doorway stood Ryusei, Chiouka, Hotaru and Rin who had an apologetic look on her usually smiling face.

"Sorry Lord Sesshomaru, they insisted I bring them, they were desperate to see the newborns, didn't help that gossip flies thorough this castle faster than the wings of a hummingbird flaps."

Sesshomaru went over to a nearby chair and sat down, "Come see your new siblings."

No sooner had the words left his mouth than he had three eager faces looking down at the newest edition to the Inu tribe.

Noting the blue blanket Chiouka pouted, "Boy…" she pouted even more if it were possible as the word left her mouth.

"Sorry Chi-chan, you now have two new brothers not just one."

She turned her pouting face in my direction realizing that I too held a baby. Her pouting lessened as she looked from one brother to the other and I even caught a smile or two as she joined Ryusei in their cooing.

The day went quickly and night came. I found myself alone in my brother's bed wondering where he had vanished to. I slept well thanks to exhaustion, waking only to feed and change my sons. I had been given a small respite from Chiouka thanks in part to her older brother and Rin.

This continued for a month.

The time in which one spends with newborns and babies is often counted not by days or hours but in feedings, changing's, burping's and naps obtained by both you and the children in question.

A month became two and two became three.

The boys grew and with them so did Chiouka who had become quite the spoilt princess who took little or no interest in her brothers, opting to play with the young girls of the castle, servants daughters and younger siblings. She definitely had her father's attitude as of late and I found my hands tied and occupied by her brothers so there wasn't much in the way of action I could take and talking only got you so far.

When I was up and walking with ease I returned to my quarters. I had considered staying in Sesshomaru's room but he never seemed to return to it, whether busy with work or something else. I didn't want to be a bother so returning to my own quarters only made sense.

Chiouka who had returned with me was in a constant state of annoyance with the new attention suckers that were her brothers. Like most youngsters she was kind most of the time but at others she did little things to pick or bother her brothers.

I worried.

Rin who was now carrying her second child said that she had heard it was like that with most siblings when new babies were born.

As a year came and went I realized that you can teach and show but you can't change who or what a child becomes. I suppose I had lucked out with Ryusei, he always had been a pleasant child; not that Chiouka was unpleasant, just set in her ways of obstinacy and self love at the tender age of five.

Hissorashi and Haderashi were amusing and Ryusei voiced a similar opinion, amused by their antics as much as I. The two were opposites and yet they could not stand to be apart. They were like magnets, so different and yet drawn to each other.

I watched as Sesshomaru continued training Ryusei in the ways of demons and politics and I watched as Chiouka grew and became a little girl, no longer the baby or toddler that used to be so carefree. Under her father's tutelage and that of hired demonesses she was being taught how proper young women acted and behaved and as I watched it I felt myself grow cold inside, afraid that when all was said and done she would be just like Sesshomaru's mother.

Sesshomaru had asked me one day while watching her at her lessons; why I seemed to be upset. I voiced my thoughts and he merely gave me a confused look and said that I shouldn't worry overly much.

A feeling of dread filled me. I realized that though I carried and birthed these children they were his heirs which meant that I could teach them all that I contained from birth until weaning and after that it was all up to him. It frightened me. I felt a fear similar to when I had first arrived in this castle. I was powerless. Powerless when it came to the raising and teaching of my own children.

I quietly stewed in my anger and bitterness, careful not to change my demeanor or actions. Afraid what would happen if I did.

I smiled and played and even managed to keep up a generally pleasant persona when with my pups and their sire; my brother, but inside I worried. Was this what all mother's went through?

To Be Continued…..

Sorry it took so long. Managed to take an M&M sized chunk of flesh out of my right thumb with scissors trying to open a pack of frozen fish food while at work. Yeah…it was dumb, I admit it.

Sorry, it's gonna get depressing again. But I promise it will be a happy ending.

Kat


End file.
